Happiness Journal

I have so much in my head that I want to get out but it seems to be stuck. I’m learning that in due time the words will flow, when God is ready for me to share. This has been the case up until now so I’m going to continue to trust this process and trust God, which has proven to give me a tremendous about of peace.

As I sit here and think about what has made me happy this week I can’t help but think of the many stories that have been shared with me, both publicly and privately, about how Love Rocks has impacted lives. They have given people a way in which to share and express love; something tangible that you put time and energy into and then graciously extend your hand and give away. This is such a simple concept and I continuously feel joy as I watch people give and receive Love Rocks throughout our community and beyond.

I remember when we went to Seattle for Anna’s 6th birthday and she asked if she could have some money to keep in her pocket, so that when someone on the side of the road was asking for some, she could give it to them. She was 6, so kind hearted, so giving; she wanted to give what she had (we had) to those in need. I was so proud of her and the heart that she had for others.

This is what makes me happy today, remembering how giving my girls were and how much they are still giving, even after going to Heaven. I am happy and proud to be part of an amazing community that has embraced love, despite a tragic loss, and is walking this journey with me. I am happy that I have joy, something I once thought I would never have again.

This joy I’m feeling, this overwhelming sense of joy, is like nothing that I’ve ever experienced before though. I think that it’s unbelievable joy that can only be felt through the deepest sorrow one could possibly have.

Today I had a thought, maybe this overwhelming joy is just a little piece of what my girls are feeling know that they are in Heaven. Maybe it’s God’s way of giving me a little glimpse of what they have now. It makes my heart so incredibly happy that they have this and so much more in Heaven.

How can I not celebrate that they are in the presence of the creator of the greatest joy of all. Celebrating doesn’t mean I don’t miss them, or that my heart doesn’t ache every single second, but what it does is allow me to keep my girls close, keep my mind and heart open to God and lets me see what He is placing in front of me. My once foggy, overgrown and rocky path has become very clear. I know that it will not always be easy, straight or full of sunshine, but what I do know is that it will lead me straight to my creator and to my girls.

I think my words just got unstuck!