The statistics are not in our favor. Eighty percent of all marriages end in divorce after the death of a child. We are aware of this fact and we both see how what we have lost can impact our marriage in ways nothing else will. Like everything else though we get to choose which way this will go and whether the circumstance of our lives will strengthen us, or rip us apart.
It is not easy, grief and the reality of our situation makes everything hard. I can be smiling one moment and crying the next. I can be laughing and then in seconds be very angry at something that would never have angered me before. Sometimes I want to be comforted and other times I want to be left alone. I can be very critical and I know at times I am not easy to live with right now.
Tom is so patient and so loving. He holds me even when I don’t want to be held. He is a wonderful father and he loves Jesus with all of his heart. He prays for me, for us and for our children daily. He feels a pain that I wish I could take away. He loves me.
I can honor Anna and Abigail in many ways; build a park, spread love and joy around the world through Love Rocks, start a non-profit and even create the most beautiful rainbow tree ever.
The one thing that will honor my girls and honor God the most though is to love, fiercely and unconditionally, my husband through this journey of ours. The bond that we have I know will strengthen, because our relationship does not just include the two of us. It also includes God, who brought us together 4 years ago when our paths crossed, and if we allow it He will strengthen us and make us whole again.
One day, we will all be in eternity together ~ this I know without doubt. Until that time I am going to love my husband fiercely and unconditionally for God, for us and for our girls in Heaven.
Today is our 3rd Anniversary and I am so blessed to have this man by my side through this journey called life.