Home Alone

It’s been a very busy couple of weeks ~ months actually. The Love Rocks Run is behind us, my family has all traveled back to Ohio after a wonderful family vacation in Central Oregon and Tom is back to work.

I’m home alone.

I like being home and I like being alone, but what I don’t like is that my girls aren’t off on a playdate with friends or visiting another parent returning in a few hours to interrupt my quiet time.

I miss their interruptions and today I’m alone and longing for them.

There will never be a day that goes by in this life time that my heart won’t long for them. Somedays my strategies get me through and I can stay focused on the path that is clearly in front of me now~ a path that honors God, celebrates Anna and Abigail’s life, shares love and joy and soon nurturing another child.

Other days, like today, I just want to sit, cry and scream how unfair my life is and how I’m done and I just want my children back.

The past few weeks have been very emotional, and being so busy, I have not had time to really process everything that has happened…from an amazing turnout for the Love Rocks Run, to meeting Abigail’s liver recipient, and his family, for the first time, to spending a week with our extended family and feeling a tremendous void without our girls being there.

Today I’m home alone, processing this life of mine, sitting in my grief and longing for my girls to bust through the door and scream that they are home.

8 thoughts on “Home Alone

  1. Words won’t describe the empathy that I have for you and Tom, and the heartache that I feel when I read your heartfelt words about your girls, let me just say that I feel it, and I imagine that many, many people feel your loss sympathetically — like a vibration that triggers a primal nerve that all parents have. God bless you Susan. Your love is so strong, it is felt by others.


  2. (((HUGS)))) to you susan. ..I just prayed for you, tom and your baby. ..peace and comfort to you right now in Jesus name, amen


  3. All the happiness you have had in the last weeks, it has kept you from this moment. Know that you are loved by many, and how we all wish we could make it different for you and Tom.


  4. Dearest Susan,
    i can only imagine the times when silence plays havoc on your well-being. And believe that there are times when you want to scream, cry and throw things! Death is hard enough to try to understand and deal with the absence of our loved ones, but two children; especially! Over the miles, my heart hurts for you. This is exactly why I want my scout girls to hear your story and support Love Rocks and be part of the joy to be spread in their memory. I know the memories won’t bring them back, but knowing we are spreading the joy in MI and helping spread it, we hope will help your soul for a moment. God had His plan, whatever that was. Have to believe in that. So, it’s ok today in the silence to scream IT’S NOT FAIR because it’s truly not!! Cry and scream and love your girls as they are there with you, because they are. They will always and forever be a huge part of your life. You are doing awesome things in their memory. But on days like today, you are allowed. Wishing I could put a rock on your porch with a big happy face in bright neon colors on it and a hearts surrounding it. Wishing you peace and love and ever lasting joy, my friend! God bless you! ♡♡♡


      1. You are welcome! Words are hard to find when all one wants to do is reach out and give you a hug! So sending you a warm one!!!


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