Wow is this a hard one to write. The past month I have been struggling with defining my new role here on earth. I don’t want to write what I was and what I am now.
So here it is…My About Me.
I am a mom, I am a wife, I am a daughter, I am a sister and I am a friend. I love God with all of my heart. I love to be creative and I love to play with my kids. I love that my husband is silly and love that I can tell him that I hate that his closet is a kickback to the 1990’s (sometimes 80’s). I love hearing Anna run down the steps in the morning and I love that she cuddles with me everyday. I love that as a blended family we don’t use the word step or half. I love that Abigail is confident in who she is and loves life. I love that Anna and Abigail love Jesus. I love the relationship that Emily and I have. I love that Ben is our favorite son and I love the smile he gets on his face when we tell him that. I love to take pictures of my family. I love that my husband holds nightly dance parties. I love that he loves to dance. I love going on adventures with my family. I love when Emily and Ben tell us they love our cooking. I love listening to Taylor Swift really loud. I love that all of my kids have lots of people that love them. I love that I have a dog that thinks he’s human. I love spending time with my friends and I love that I have lots of them. I love our community. I love my net. I love playing with my students at school and I love that I teach a subject that is really fun. I love my house and I love the memories that it holds. I love that I can walk out of my house and stand in the exact spot Anna and Abigail went to Heaven. I love that God has given me peace that they are with him and they are doing well. I love that one day I will be there too!
(Written Nov. 2013)
love-drenched-life.com 
I love these love rocks. I bought the supplies for my girl scout troop to make these and they all loved this. Honestly if your reading this I think you should get up and
MAKE SOME LOVE ROCKS<3
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Love that you all love making and sharing so much…I often tell people they are addicting in the best way possible. Thank you for sharing and let me know if there is anything we can do for you all…I love sharing our story, my daughters love story and how Love Rocks got started with girl scout troops…we have a patch too if you are interested.
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Much Love Susan, was just thinking of you and Anna and thought I’d say hello. Very touching blog posts, thank you for sharing 🙂 The two of you will always be in my heart.
~Quinn
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Thanks for the message Quinn…means a lot to me. Take care!!
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I love this “about”. It is perhapsbthe best one I have ever read. I look forward to getting to know more and hear how you process grief and loss. May you truly know beauty for ashes. Sending a hug.
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Hi Susan,
I have been following your blog and love rocks on Facebook. I wanted to share with you how much you have inspired me to be a better parent. I read your post about the journal you and Abby wrote back and forth in. I started this same journal with my daughter Ava tonight. She is absolutely in love with the idea and I am too. Just wanted to say thank you for putting yourself out there. You are an amazing woman and even though I don’t know your family, I think of you all often. The love and joy my family feels when leaving their love rocks is a truly priceless gift you have given us. Your girls would be so proud of their Mama.
With gratitude,
Sarah
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Thank you so much for your message Sarah. Our journals are definitely something I cherish. I hope you find it to be a great way to connect. Abby would tell me all sorts of things in the journal she couldn’t tell me in person…I’m so glad we did it.
Thank you for your kind words. Susan
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I was walking with friends in the Grand Floral Parade walk this past weekend and we found one of your hearts on the Steel Bridge. My daughter Mara was killed on December 18, 2012 when crossing Beaverton HIllsdale Highway at Shattuck to catch the bus to work. The DA said she was doing everything right but the driver (in a rental truck, buying used furniture here and taking it down to California to sell) just didn’t see her. She was 27, had traveled all over the world, and was killed 1/2 mile from the home where she grew up. My husband, my 33 year old daughter who lives in LA, and I are trying to live happy, meaningful lives, because we know that is what Mara would have wanted. Here is what I can say to you: I know. There is a community of parents who share a deep knowledge of what it means to lose a child through a tragedy. The heart you made, and that we found, reinforces that we are a community of caring for each other, even if we may not know each other personally. Thank you for making these hearts. I will keep mine close. You are in my thoughts and prayers. To quote Victor Hugo, “to love another person is to see the face of God”, and our love for our children, our family and each other truly is the face of God.
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I’d like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in penning this blog.
I’m hoping to view the same high-grade blog posts from you later on as
well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has
encouraged me to get my very own website now 😉
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Just want you to know how much you touch my heart and soul. I pray for you and your family daily and I cannot imagine your feelings. However- I try to. And I can honestly say that you are a huge inspiration to me- and to us all. Thank You Susan for spreading your love to all of us, and for teaching us how to do the same. Words cannot express my appreciation and true admiration for someone like you. Know that you are a unique blessing in this world- and Thank You so much for being so. We know your girls are in Such good hands- HIS hands. Love you and God Bless you, Tom, and all of your family. ❤️
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Thank you so much for your kind words Nicole. My girls loved fiercely and I’m just following in their footsteps…it’s what I have to do. Yes…my girls are good and in the best hands possible. Thank you again for your message and take care.
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Susan, you have been such a huge inspiration to me since I met you when I was 12 years old. I don’t know if you remember me but you taught my little brother’s PE class. My little brother is Stephen White. I remember helping out in your class when I was in the 5th and 6th grade. Ever since then I have been involved in unified sports and special education. Come to think of itI saw you at the swimming pool while I was substituting for instructional assistants! That all started with you! 🙂 I didn’t know your girls but just knowing the little bit about you that I know I can only imagine how beautiful and amazing they are! I think about you all the time and I get so much encouragment from you. Your faith in the Lord is amazing and I hope that one day I can have a faith and trust like that. I guess through all of this I just wanted to say that you were such an inspiration to me before the accident and then seeing how your faith is getting you through everyday of your life makes you even more of an inspiration to me. I pray for you regularly! You truly amazing Susan!
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Susan, you don’t know me, but I’m praying for you. I just read your post on Jan 6. And I’m praying that God will continue to give you strength. The love a person has for their children & spouse & other family is so deep & can just leave you breathless at times when they are away from you. I cannot even begin to feel the depth of your pain. I just feel that God is asking for me to pray that you can begin to breathe again, a deep freeing & cleansing breath that only He can provide you with. And that in time you won’t feel like you are drowning & always gasping for air. That God will breath into you His God-filled & rich oxygen and continue to bring healing to you. And I will continue to remember you in my prayers.
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Thank you for your comment and your prayers.
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We don’t know each other…I stumbled upon your blog through Parker Pups on Facebook….I have no clue how I even came upon them, other than the fact I am a huge, huge Labrador & Golden lover. Anyhoo, I just wanted to say you are amazing. You have suffered the greatest loss a parent can imagine….twice, not to mention the loss of your sweet Sampson. I want to scream “this is so unfair” at the top of my lungs. And then I read your words and you are so full of grace. You choose to look at the positive side of things. I think would be so consumed with anger and despair, that I would stop functioning. And yet you create this blog with some of the happiest photos I have ever seen. The love you and your family share explodes from the photos. You truly look like you live every single day to the fullest. It breaks my heart you won’t get to experience that anymore, but you sound like you are determined to make the best of the hand you’ve been dealt. Such lucky little girls to have a momma like you. You are an inspiration. I wish you nothing but the very best; you certainly deserve it.
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Thank you Meg for your kind words. We definitely live each day to the fullest and now we live each day embraced in the memories we once shared with our girls. I appreciate that you took the time to post a comment. Blessings.
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I admire you and the courage you face everyday. As i told you before, i feel if we didnt live on opposite sides of the country, our girls would be the best of friends. Thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of this. I love that i can see them through your eyes and it warms my heart, almost like i can hear them giggle in your words. Love you Susan.
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Susan here is what I love about you and why I have always admired you: I love your love of life, your easy going attitude, your giggle, your fun curls in your hair, your friendship and your compassion for others! I love your passion for adventure and your fearless attitude! I love that your brave enough to share yourself and I love your supreme outlook on life! Thanks for sharing and know you are touching lives your not even aware of! I love you !
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Oops, this is Theresa ‘Berner’….. Guess there is more than one Theresa….
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You are beautiful Susan- you have blessed me beyond measure. I am in awe of how God is using you- thank you for sharing your heart!
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Susan, You are a genuine example of how to live a life of love. Thank you for letting me get to know you, Abby, and Anna better through the sharing of your precious memories. I will be forever changed. Your example of love and faith gives me strength to face my own little hurts and worries.
Much love from Janelle
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I love that you share your love with us. I love the woman that you are, I admire everything about you, and I pray that somehow, someway you can find peace in your heart knowing that those beautiful angels knew they had a love drenched life💗💗
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I love everything about the person you are. I thank God that you are my daughter’s friend. I’ll pray that God’s plan for you will bring new joy. You are an inspiration for us all!
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Thank you for your prayers Gayle. I am so thankful for your daughters friendship…I love her tons!!!
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