Is Your Mama a Llama?

They would want to watch just 30 minutes before they went to bed.

Anna would yell, “I call the rocking chair.”

Abigail would say under her breath, “You always call the rocking chair.”

I loved this time of night when we would sit and watch their favorite show that only was on for a short while, American’s Got Talent.

We would critique each act one by one.

Abigail would day dream about what she would do if she got the chance to audition. She would sit and sing the latest pop song while we watched adding “texture” to her voice which always made me smile. She had a beautiful voice and If you asked her what she wanted to do when she grew up she would say she either wanted to be an artist or a singer.

I loved that she had dreams and goals for her life.

Anna would call for the rocking chair on these special nights because it was “our chair” and we fit perfectly in it together.  We had spent years rocking together, starting with late night nursing sessions which eventually moved into late night reading sessions. Night after night I would read countless books to her. Among her favorites were; Jamberry, Clap Your Hands and Is Your Mama a Llama? I can still recite the words that I’m sure will forever be ingrained in my brain.

“Is your mama a llama?” I asked my friend Clyde. “No she is not,” is how Clyde replied. “She’s got flippers and whiskers and eats fish all day. I do not think llamas act quite in that way.” “Oh,” I said. “I’m beginning to feel that your mama must really be a…seal.”

The rocking chair now sits in her room facing the window that looks out over the tree.

I sit in it often remembering how it felt to hold my newborn in my arms. I remember thinking I wanted time to go by so slow. I didn’t want to think of Anna in the future or wish away any time that we had together. When Abigail came into my life I remember thinking the same about her until puberty hit and then I couldn’t wait till we were through it ~ just joking.

One day we would all be adults together and I didn’t want that time to come to quickly. I wanted to cherish every moment we had, even through the pre-teen phase.

Tonight I would give anything to hear Anna’s voice say that she has the rocking chair. I would love to see Abigail’s eyes roll as she tells her sister that she always gets the rocking chair. I would love to snuggle up with both of them and have my old life back.

I miss my old life.

rocking chair 1 rocking chair 2

Unfortunately I do not have any photos of Anna and I in the rocking chair. I do, however, have these photos of Anna using the rocking chair to climb into her crib. Priceless!

5 thoughts on “Is Your Mama a Llama?

  1. Susan, hurts me to see the hurt in your eyes. I can never imagine your pain, but just hope you know I love you and keep you in my prayers every day❤️❤️

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  2. Me and Kaleb do the same thing! I always call the “big chair” and he calls the “corner spot of the couch”…… Our family watch’s Americas Got Talent also. We always say wether we would put each act through or not. Last year I even auditioned in Portland to be on the show! I sang “Over You” by Miranda Lambert! Abby was a beautiful singer, we would always sing on the way to CBAP while on the bus…
    Love You so much

    Like

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