There is something about him…

Yesterday I took three photos of Linus.

The first, a group shot, took some time to coordinate because at first he wanted to get really close to Alice, really close. Then, he would only look away from the camera. In this shot it looks like I have a death grip on his collar to make him stay ~ I promise that is not the case❤

the three of us

Later in the day I came into the kitchen to find Linus “spooning” his stuffed dog, one that looks very much like his younger brother or maybe a girlfriend of his same breed. As I took the picture he didn’t look up at all, didn’t even move. Those eyes.

linus spooning

Last night I came downstairs after putting Alice to bed to find this, his “friend” in a bit of a pickle with his/her face chewed off. Linus, with a sort of proud yet frustrated look on his face, looked up at the camera as to say, “yes, I did it ~ now what are you going to do about it?”

bad linus

There is something about my big yellow dog that makes me smile and be a little frustrated at the same time.

Today on my to do list ~ a little sewing.

Happiness Journal

on the bedThese moments with little Alice fill my heart with so much love. There is not one moment of this journey that I will take for granted ~ even the really hard parts. I am realizing more and more each day  what gift this little girl is to my heart.

I can’t wait till the day she starts asking about Anna and Abigail, “mama, will you tell me another story about my sisters?” Those will be such sweet words coming from this little one and I will joyfully (with tears at times) tell her story after story about her big sisters.

Her sweet face and the love I know she feels from Heaven makes my heart so happy❤

 

Happiness Journal

This is Abigail’s girl scout troop, her friends, and they have been planning and saving for years to go on an adventure/cruise together…Abigail was at the first planning meeting when they decided to go the summer before their freshman year. I remember Abigail talking about how far away it seemed and how hard it was to plan something so far in the future. She was very excited and so was I to see how much she would learn in the process of raising money and planning for something that meant so much to her!

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Today they are headed out on their trip, all with a special Love Rock in honor of their friend. They have lots of fun adventures planned ~ one of them will be connecting with a Girl Guide group in Mexico to show them how to make and share Love Rocks. I’m so proud of these girls and love them all very much❤

Their love for Abigail makes me very happy❤

abbystyle

 

Holiday

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As I was logging into this space I noticed my last post was over a month ago. I don’t really like going that long between visits here but I’m finding that my minutes are precious with little Alice and sitting at the computer is far less appealing. I’m sure you understand.

We  just got home from a long visit with Tom’s family in England. It was absolutely lovely in every way and a much needed “holiday” for the both of us. The last time we were in England was on our honeymoon 5 years ago. We only stayed a week on that trip because of the kids and I remember thinking throughout that I couldn’t wait to bring our whole family the next visit. The older three had been before but it would be Anna’s first international trip. She talked about going often and I even had her passport picture taken to be prepared when the time came.

My heart misses them terribly.

Little Alice was a good  traveler. She was a trooper on the plane and only took a couple of days to get her body clock in tune with her dad’s homeland. Tom comes from an absolutely beautiful part of the world, Northern England, and his family is wonderful. We were able to spend time with extended family this trip due to celebrating his parents 50th wedding anniversary which was such a blessing. Tom and I are so blessed to have such amazing families.

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While away, Tom and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. I can’t believe that it has only been 5 years since the day we officially became a family, it seems like a lifetime ago. Since we’ve been back I’ve been going through photos of our life together, something I find myself doing when the longing is intense. Seeing Anna and Abigail’s faces, even if only in photos, makes me happy.

I found this one buried in an album of wedding photos and it’s perfect.

wedding girls

Happiness Journal

When I took this photo I knew that it would be special. When I downloaded and viewed it for the first time all I could think about is how lucky Alice is to have these three in her life. They love her so much and one day will share secrets with her only they know about their friends.

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Feeling Blessed

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Today I am feeling incredibly blessed.

Some may wonder how that is possible considering my loss. Sometimes I wonder how it is possible considering how broken my heart feels.

Today I feel blessed because I’ve been on this earth for 43 years ~ today is my birthday❤

Today I feel blessed because in those 43 years I have had a tremendous amount of love in my life.

Today I feel blessed because I know the love I feel is from God and, in opening my heart fully to Him, I have experienced His glory in way that is indescribable.

Today I feel blessed because, even though I long for and miss Anna and Abigail more than anyone can imagine, I know that they are in Heaven experiencing that same love, the greatest love, in its purest form ALL THE TIME and without any pain or suffering. I am so grateful for this because pain and suffering sucks (just saying).

Today I feel blessed because little Alice took my face in her hands, looked me in the eyes and put her little lips against mine ~ her way of kissing her mama on her birthday❤

Today I feel blessed because I wake up each morning to a man who loves God with all his heart, loves his wife with all his heart and loves his children with all his heart.

Today I feel blessed to be the mom/Susan of 5 amazing kids. I am so proud of each one of them and truly can’t imagine my world without them no matter where they are.

Today I feel blessed because I have a family that loves me unconditionally and is there for me no matter what. I also feel incredibly blessed that I will have seen and spent time with all of them, Ohio and England family, during the months of May and June.

Today I feel blessed because I have amazing friends that love us, stand by us and who continue to help us navigate through each day by making us smile and by letting us know that Anna and Abigail will never be forgotten. They do this simply by just showing up, always.

Today I feel blessed to live in a small town where people love each other and take care of one another. I love our community so much and can’t imagine ever calling any other place home.

Today I feel blessed because Love Rocks are making their way around the world and are spreading Love and Joy to so many people who need it the most. I am so grateful to everyone in the Love Rocks community for joining us on the journey and for helping us to honor Anna and Abigail’s love drenched lives. This community means the world to me and I am honored to be a part of it.

Today, Memorial Day,  I feel blessed that I live in a country that is free and I am so grateful to the men and woman who have fought for that freedom. Many of those individuals are experiencing the same great love as Anna and Abigail…I am grateful for their ultimate sacrifice.

Today I feel blessed that the sun is shining, the birds are singing and Linus is being mellow  for once ~ wait, he just brought me one of my shoes.

I am blessed today and so, so grateful❤

alice kiss