(no title)

I know that I shouldn’t feel like I do.

This unbelievable sense of peace that my girls are well and that they are safe. I shouldn’t feel it. I should be curled up in a ball and hating God for what happened to my babies.

God is so amazing though, the power of prayer is so amazing and I feel this every second of every day!

I REALLY feel it.

I keep telling folks that it isn’t something I’m saying to make myself feel better. I truly feel God’s arms wrapped around me, holding me tight and telling me that he will take care of them. God is lifting me, making me stand, making me remember all of the amazing times we had, giving me so much gratitude for these two lives, blessing me with amazing people who are praying continuously and simply being the AMAZING God that he is.

I miss my girls terribly!I miss absolutely everything about them and with that I have a huge hole in my heart that hurts really bad.

I am making the choice though to fill that hole with trust that God’s plan is great and that one day I will understand. In the meantime I will live my life for him and for my girls honor… every day, every hour, every minute, every second!!!!

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:7

I will be honest and say that it’s a little scary to open up this space. It’s so much more intentional than Facebook. I’m not sure what will happen here or what I will or won’t write and share. I do know that sharing my girls feels right. So here I am opening up my heart and sharing memories, pictures, videos and whatever feels right. This space is a work in progress and I am finding it to be very therapeutic to play with Word Press…trying to get everything just right. I definitely want to thank my dear friend Kristin for creating this space for me and sitting with me on the phone chatting about all the possibilities. I have the most amazing friends…just saying. I should also say that I’m not a writer and sometimes, especially lately, my writing doesn’t make sense. Please overlook this as my brain is very full these days and even though I read and reread what I’ve written I still overlook grammatical errors.

These pictures were taken on Mother’s Day 2 years ago. Anna, Tom and I went to the coast for the afternoon. We love the coast but definitely don’t get there as much as we should. These pictures are very special because they are very candid and show a moment of time for Anna and I. Thankful that Tom keep taking photos while Anna was being silly behind me. After a windy day at the beach Anna curled up in my lap and I read her a book. My favorite of all the photos that day. I can still feel her curled up on my lap sometimes.