Our Love is Eternal

Words feel too small for the amount of love and admiration I have for Miss Anna as I celebrate her 8th birthday today. She has taught me so much about how to love and be loved, how to live with intention and how to find joy even when my heart is breaking.

Since she’s gone to Heaven, God has blessed my heart with a love for her that is eternal ~ a love that goes beyond anything I thought I could ever feel. This love is what keeps me going ~ knowing that one day I will hold her in my arms again in His presence and will no longer feel the pain of our separation. Until that day I will continue to live this life with as much love and joy as I can and will continue to celebrate Anna’s beautiful life!

~

When Anna was born I decided that instead of “scrapbooking” her life, which I knew would end up a box of photos and empty pages of fancy paper, I would put together a digital picture journal for each month of her life.  My plan was to create one a year, using my favorite photos from each month, and journaling about our adventures and life together. On her 18th birthday I would then give these journals to her to have as a way for her to look back on her childhood. I’m proud to say that I did just that for 7 years and have pages of stories, memories and photos of our love drenched life together.

November 2006 ~ Little Miss Anna I am so glad you are finally here. You are absolutely perfect and I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love you. We are going to have the best life together ~ I promise. I love you Miss Anna and I am so happy I get to be your mom.

birthday Anna

February 2007 ~ It’s been only three months and I feel like I’ve known you forever. This is my last month of maternity leave and I plan on appreciating every second I have with you. It seems you always have a smile on your face which makes me know you are happy. I am so amazed by the joy you have brought to my life. You truly are a blessing from God and I thank him every day for allowing me to be your mom! I love you to the moon and back.

Feb 2007

January 2008 ~ Baby Stella came into our life at Christmas ~ she was a gift from Aunt Lu. I am absolutely amazed at how you love and take care of her. She’s the first thing you want when you wake up and every night you put her to bed in her crib and kiss her “night-night”. You bath her, change her, feed her, burp her, dance with her and most of all love her with all your heart. I have a feeling she will be with us for a very long time. Someday, Anna, you are going to make the best mama. I love you to the moon and back!!!

Anna and Stella

September 2008 ~ Today was the first day you asked, “Why?” You asked it about 50 times. I don’t think you fully understand the meaning of it but you sure like saying it ~ a lot. I’m so excited that every day you have more and more words. For someone that isn’t even 2 yet you sure know how to use your words and you’re getting really good at expressing your needs. For instance, “Mama, sit down” is one of your favorites or “Mama, go get Sampson.” You bring me such joy Anna! Everyone is always commenting on how beautiful you are  ~ the best part is your beauty is not only on the outside but more importantly on the inside. I love being your mom. I love you to the moon and back!

Why

October 2010 ~ We officially moved out of our house today and we are now landlords. I couldn’t help but be a little sad as we packed up our last box and put it in the car. This was our house and when I moved in I was 4 months pregnant with you. We figured out life together in this home and shared so many treasured memories. One of my most cherished memories is sitting in the rocking chair each night reading books and singing songs together before you went to sleep. Cuddling with you is the best. The past 4 years have been our years together ~ just the 2 of us and I wouldn’t change that for anything. I love you to the moon and back Miss Anna!!!

a and m

June 2011 ~ This week is our wedding! I feel so blessed to have Tom and the kids in our life and I am so excited that we are officially going to be a family. You adore Tom and love having siblings.  We have so much fun together ~ along with some blended family challenges but we will work hard at getting through all that. My prayer Anna is that you always know and feel in your heart the love that I have for you no matter what comes our way and no matter how many people are in our family. I love you to the moon and back ~ always and forever and ever!!!

anna and mama wedding

May 2012 ~ My heart is so happy that you love your Tom (as you very well know I love him too). You dance with him, you climb all over him, you tease him, he teases you, you kick him out of bed in the morning so you can snuggle with your mama and you love him ~ you really love him. Sometimes you get territorial about our time and you are very loyal to your dad ~ always making sure people know that Tom is your Tom and your Dad is your Dad. Growing up in a blended family I’m sure is not always easy but our family, no matter how long it takes to explain it, is ours and has so much love!!! My prayer daily is that when you look back on your childhood you smile and always know that you were loved. I love you to the moon and back Miss Anna and so does your Tom.

tom and anna

September 2013 ~ Today I snuck away from work to see you ride the bus for the first time. You and McKenna rode together and it was so obvious to me that you were a little nervous. I’ve been taking you to school everyday but on Wednesdays you will be riding the bus from Tami’s house because I have to go to work early. I love that before you got on you kissed me goodbye and told me that you loved me. I love that you are brave even when you are trying something new and are a little nervous. I am so proud of you Anna and the young girl you have become. I love you to the moon and back and again and again and again.

bus

November 13, 2014 ~ Today (and everyday) I celebrate you ~ your love, your light and the joy that you have brought into my life these past eight years. I am a mom because of you and there are no words to express how grateful I am to God for blessing me with that role. There is not a second that goes by that I don’t think of you and the love and joy that you have given to so many. Thank you for cuddling, for always telling me how much you loved me, for always wanting to hold my hand and for being such an amazing daughter. I am so proud of you Anna and even though I can’t hold you today I want you to know that these past eight years have been my best years and you are the reason for that. I love you Anna to Heaven and back and again and again and again and again. Happy Birthday my sweet girl!

My girl Anna

 

10 thoughts on “Our Love is Eternal

  1. So beautiful Susan! I have, and always will be amazed, encouraged, and inspired by the mama that you are- and always will be. Anna is so loved!

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  2. You clearly love her to the moon and back, and she loves you all the way to heaven and back. Even in death there is so much love in your family, and in your life. That is God’s gift, and His promise. You’ll have lots to share when you are reunited in heaven.

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  3. How my heart smiles reading your sweet notes to Anna. She truly was a Gift from God. The love you showered on her is so very evident. Thank you for sharing her with us. Love you my friend.

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  4. Tears stream down my face as I read todays post. Tears for the gift of a little girl, daughter of a teacher but a teacher herself, who taught everyone she touched about love, about kindness, about family and now that she is back home, the most amazing and magical gift of one spirit, shattered into ten thousand sparks that rain down upon everyone she knew. Sparks of pure light that are passed on and expanded to all that she didn’t to become a gift so huge that no mere body could hold her.
    Happy birthday my darling Anna- I bet the the birthday cakes in heaven are perfect (and I bet you are eating yours with fairies, unicorns, your sister and your sweet Sampson.

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  5. Happy birthday Anna and God bless your mama that has the most kind, beautiful soul. I know you are shining with pride at her grace and strength. You are so missed.

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  6. How amazing that you took all those pictures and wrote all those notes!!! Such a tribute to your beautiful relationship. Hope you had a tasty milkshake today, I can’t imagine how hard it must be yet you always seem to hang in there!

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  7. This is so beautiful. I am in awe of how much you two love each other. ❤️ She gave us a special sprinkling of fairy dust from heaven this morning. It was beautiful, Anna, just like you! Happy birthday!

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