Last week I was asked if I ever felt hopeless.
I spent a few minutes thinking about that word and what it means.
I’ve been reading a book from Francis Chan called Crazy Love. I started this book in a bible study group a year before the girls went to Heaven and stopped before it was over because, at that time, I put everything else in my life before my time with God. I believed in Him and His truth but I am ashamed to say that I wasn’t the best follower. I knew what I should be doing but the craziness of life seemed to always come first.
I recently picked it back up and truly can’t get enough of it. My perspective on life and Eternity has shifted due to our circumstances and I see so clearly what God wants from me. He wants me to love Him with every ounce of my being, put Him first above all else, stop, slow down and listen, follow Him with all of my heart and Love.
I can honestly say that living with Eternity in mind is what I want always. I want that to be reflected in my life, my actions, how I interact with people (especially Tom) and how I go about my day-to-day.
I struggle writing this because I am ashamed that it took something so tragic in my life to really get me to understand what God wants from me and how to live with Eternity in mind. I understand that he uses our suffering for his glory but I still wish that my circumstances for living Eternally were different.
Along with reading Crazy Love I am also watching some of Francis Chan’s sermons on youtube. This morning this is what I watched and it spoke to me so I thought I would share.
I don’t feel hopeless at all, I am hopeful.
“To live is Christ and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21