Turn Around the Sun

Last week Anna’s friend turned 9 years old. I wanted to celebrate his birthday like I have for every one of his turns around the sun but for some reason I couldn’t even get myself to say happy birthday to him on his special day. I didn’t want to be emotional and make him sad or feel bad that his birthday made my heart miss Anna even more than it already does.

I don’t want him to grow up.

I hate that he has to grow up without my girl by his side. I hate that he has to miss her.

Tom made him his famous chocolate chip cookies and took them to him while I was at play rehearsal, “please let him know that I said happy birthday and I love him,” I said as I left the house with a heavy heart.

When Anna was born this boy was one of the first to see her (he was actually in the laboring room with his mom and I until things got too intense). He was 7 months old and I think that his mom and I knew that moment that our children would be the best of friends ~ and they are.

A couple of days after his birthday he was skateboarding across the street. I went over and told him happy birthday and that I loved him, I could tell he knew it makes my heart sad he didn’t get to share it with Anna.

He said thank you and then opened his arms up and gave me the best hug. I hugged him back, not just for myself but for his best friend Anna.