Today is Abigail’s 12th birthday! We will be celebrating with family in Ohio, eating crepes in her honor and drinking a lot of milkshakes…just like she would want it.
She LOVED her birthday, what kid doesn’t. One year older, a special day all to themselves and, in our house, milkshakes galore. Last year on Ben’s birthday we were traveling back from Orcas Island and we had to stop a number of times to get yet another milkshake for our boy. The kids all take advantage of the day when anything goes and we love to spoil them on their special day.
When I first met Abigail she was a spunky 8 yr old and was so excited to spend the summer with Anna and I while her dad was at work. We would go to parks, play games, draw, paint, swim, cuddle on the couch and hunted down adventure…you name it and we did it that summer. The three of us would spend our days together and Tom would join us after he got off work. We had so much fun!
That summer I knew that this little girl was going to be my daughter and Anna’s sister, I knew that I was going to get to see this beautiful 8 yr old grow up and I felt so blessed to be part of that process. Little did I know that this beautiful girl would teach me so much in just 3 short years.
This past year Abigail and I started a journal back and forth. I would write to her and slip it under her pillow and then she would write back. We did this because pre-teen girls and their moms often have issues with seeing things eye to eye. As we struggled through some differences of opinion: having friends sleep over on school nights, whether she should have a cell phone at school, making sure that honesty came before all else and how important it was to just ignore your little sister when she was pushing all of your buttons; we found that the journal kept us connected. It was also a space we talked about boys, friendships and puberty. We would talk about those things face to face but the book is where we could share and no one else could hear. It was our space, no one elses!
This book of written words, our journal, is something I still write in. I tell her how proud I am of her, how beautiful she is both inside and out and I fill her in on all the wonderful words that people use to describe her. I tell her how much I miss her and how I feel so blessed to have her be taking care of Anna in Heaven. She is a great sister to my little girl even when buttons are being pushed.
My adventureous, loving, compassionate, out-going, beautiful, spunky and all around wonderful Abigail. I love you to the moon and back and miss you more than words can express. Thank you for loving me so much! You are so loved by so many….especially your Susan!
I recently found this in one of Abigail’s many journals.
by Abby Robinson
I walk into my bedroom
my beautiful bed and
my desk with my radio
I go downstairs
the sight of my
brothers and sisters
Moms and Dad
makes me smile
I walk into the living room
“Surprise” everyone screams
Oh ya, it’s my birthday and my wonderful friends are here
How happy I am to have this life!
15 thoughts on “Abby’s Gift”
Watching the two of you negotiate the pre-teen years was enjoyable. The two of you had a wonderful way of connecting, even when you disagreed. Being apart of those precious few moments touches my heart. Abby’s laughter and joy are missed on a daily basis.
Deb there was a time that I would say the pre-teen years were driving me nuts…I would do anything to have my pre-teen back. So missed. So glad you were able to be part of her life.
Susan, I know words are never enough, or never expressed just “right”. But I want you to know that I am trying so hard to honor your relationship with Abigail (I know she preferred Abby, but I only hear it as Tom says it: A-bee-gail) and Anna. You are an amazing role model and I find myself saying “what would Susan do?” The book you share with Abigail is such a treasure and a wonderful way to share a dialogue with a young girl – like having your own ‘conversation room’ that no one else has access to. I will incorporate this idea with my girls and think of your girls with every entry. Big love. xo
What a poet! Thank you for sharing.
I love that you had such a special relationship with Abby. What a blessing for both of you.
Love the poem. It’s so fun to see what she calls out– her desk, her radio, how much she loves her bedroom. It makes me consider Nikaya’s plea for her own bedroom, away from her “annoying” little sister. (I hold out, because I love their nighttime chats.)
Most of all, I love Abby’s gratitude for her family and friends. You nurtured her compassion. Glad we could give her a birthday party with all her friends, just wish she could have been there in flesh. We did feel her spirit and joy. Love you.
Susan, I think God knew exactly what he was doing when you walked into Abigail ‘s life. Journaling together, what a wonderful way to communicate and again, what a beautiful example of love❤️❤️. Love and prayers to you as always
I know her so littler but I love her much xoxo
What a beautiful girl/lady is Smiling down on all of us tonight.
Happy Birthday You Beautiful Angel!!! We are sending hugs and kisses to heaven.
This morning my daughter text me from her dad’s and asked if we could make cupcakes when she got home, I didn’t even have to ask why I just knew! She only knew Abby from school this year but she connected so quickly with her outgoing spirit and unique personality! My daughter and I think of your family everyday. Happy Birthday Abby!
I am in awe of you and your beautiful relationship with Abby. You were both a gift to each other!
I often shed tears when I read your blogs. It’s to be expected. This one really caused a waterfall. Rebecca just left for the Girl Scout birthday party for Abby and she promised to eat a crepe for me in her honor. Happy Birthday Dear Beautiful Abby!
What a wonderful relationship you shared. The poem brings tears. So thankful she had years with you as her mama. Love drenched.