It’s so beautiful outside right now. With the sun beaming in through the windows I can see all the dust that has accumulated over the past several months. I decided yesterday that it was time to clean the girls rooms. After 5 months of sitting untouched I probably should do some dusting, vacuuming and general wiping down of their space. I’m not moving anything, I’m just doing what I would do if they were still here on earth.

I’m sure they are in Heaven shocked that their rooms have gone untouched. They were responsible for keeping their rooms clean but I usually did a thorough cleaning when they were away for a long weekend. I loved having them come back home with a fresh clean room. I think they both knew if they kept it messy I would always come in and clean while they were away. Smart kids and clean freak Mama.

Sun shining, Taylor Swift turned up loud and a heavy heart. I would much rather have it look like someone has been there than to have it go untouched.

I just wish they were still here.


11 thoughts on “Dust

  1. I wish they were here with you too. I thanked them for the sunshine today. I’m sure they still love coming home to clean rooms when they visit you and Tom. Big loves to you.


  2. I keep finding myself wishing I was there, wanting to give you hugs, wishing I was close so I could walk through this with you somehow. You were on my heart all day today! What I can do is more powerful by far… I can pray that God lifts the weight, carries this load, and keeps sending you joy, each and every day! Xoxo T


  3. The simple act of dusting and vacuuming their spaces becomes an act of great courage and strength. I know God is with you every step in your everyday life. So very sorry the rooms are untouched. I know they are always near, always watchful and always loving you, wishing they could kiss your tears away and mend your aching heart. Let me know if you ever need a hand with chores if it is just too emotional to face. I would always be glad to lend a hand. Praying for a rainbow soon.


  4. Hi there! Thank you so much for sharing your heart. We haven’t met and my wife and I didn’t know your girls until, like so many, they reached out and grabbed hold of our hearts that tragic night. My heart is heavy for you and Tom, but rejoices in the glorious existence the girls are lucky enough to be enjoying while the rest of us have to wait. I’m whale watching today as part of a work trip. Not a whale in sight. But just as I was looking down into the green water a pair of Sea Lions popped up and looked at me curiously as if to say “sooooo what are you up too?” I instantly thought of Abby and Abigail. Which in turn spurred me to reach out to let you know, every night we hold you and Tom tight and cry with you. We celebrate every rainbow, every pair of Eagles. We hold one another and our kids a little tighter and strive to live by your example. We don’t know you, but we love you and if you should ever need for anything Amy and I are here.


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