Big Bev

When I was little I had an imaginary friend named Laurie, no relation to my best friend Laurie. My imaginary friend Laurie was a couple years older than me and wore her hair in a bee hive hair do. She also wore 50’s style clothing, something I think I got from watching to much Happy Days throughout my childhood. If I close my eyes I can still see her.

I remember talking to her when times were rough and feeling that she was the only person that understood me. I don’t think about her much anymore or at least I didn’t until Anna started talking to Bev.

Bev was Anna’s imaginary friend. There were actually two friends, Big Bev and Little Bev. When asked, Anna could give a full description of what the Bevs were up to at any given moment. When asked she would pause, look up to the sky as though she was in deep thought and then give you a play-by-play of what Big Bev and Little Bev were doing.

Big Bev and Little Bev traveled back and forth to Ohio with us, played with Anna in her room, sat with us at the dinner table and were always in the car with us when traveling to and from Tami’s house. They were a constant in our lives when Anna was 3 years old but remained a topic of discussion well past her toddler years. After blending our families, the older siblings loved to ask Anna about Bev to see what she would come up with. Abigail once said that her “friends” and Anna’s were traveling in Africa together. I’m sure my “friend” Laurie was with them too.

This video is one of many bath time interviews Anna and I did while it was just the two of us. She had so much to say and I am so happy I got a lot of it on video. I loved asking her questions and hearing her thoughts.

After the girls went to Heaven my dear friend Amy came from Pennsylvania to be with us. Amy’s husband is in the military,  and when our kids were babies, Wil was stationed in Iraq for a year. During that time Amy and I would talk on the phone two or more times per day and discussed the happenings of our little ones and the joys and struggles of being a single parent.  I’m not sure what I would have done without Amy during this period of my life. Being a single parent is hard but when you have a dear friend to share it with, it makes it fun. We would call for absolutely no reason other than to hear another adult speak. I cherish those phone conversations with my dear friend.

A couple of days after Anna and Abigail’s memorial service Amy and I sat in the car talking. We started sharing memories about Anna’s friend, Big Bev  Amy then pulled out a little medallion, the St Theresa Medal, that was given to her by a co-worker to give to me. The co-worker insisted that I have it and at the time Amy thought maybe it was a little strange that this woman, who doesn’t know me, was sending her with a gift. Her co-worker, Bev, told her that she thought it was important for me to have it. This precious medallion now sits on the nightstand next to my bed. It’s amazing how a kind gesture from a total stranger can have so much meaning. I’m sure there was a higher power orchestrating the exchange and I can’t help but wonder if Anna is hanging out with her friend Bev now. I wonder if she really looks like me. 

9 thoughts on “Big Bev

  1. It truly amazes me how connected we all are in this world and how random acts of kindness aren’t really random at all. They are all truly meaningful and orchestrated by a higher power:) I imagine that Mary (Kaia’s imaginary friend) and Bev must know each other or at least have come from the same era! So glad to hear that someone else’s kindness brings you so much peace now:)


  2. What beautiful stories! I am sitting here with goosebumps from reading all these wonderful words and once again learning from all of you. I feel very blessed to be able to absorb all these lessons and continue to admire your strength Susan. I do believe in the interconnections and the messages from the universe. Thanks for allowing me to be a part of your life!


  3. Oh my gosh what a beautiful story!!!! I am a firm believer that none of that story is coincidence and what a wonderful feeling that must give you


  4. I love watching these videos you post. Makes me feel like i am actually getting to know Anna and the wild adventures of life the two of you had together!


  5. Amy just sent this to me. This is Bev. My sister gave me the St. Theresa medal, it was blessed by a Priest. My sister is a devout Catholic, and St Theresa means a lot to her. I am Methodist, but was raised Catholic. My Faith is what keeps me going. I am also a single parent, so I know how tough it is! I had the medal hanging in my living room to bless the house and bring us peace. When Amy told me about you and your family, God spoke to my heart and told me to give the medal to Amy to give to you. I hope and pray that it has been able to give you peace. It sounds like you have. Amy speaks of you and your Faith often. I truly admire your courage, and know that the medal was meant for you. Bev is not a common name, so I know the Lord knew long ago that this connection would be an important one. God Bless.
    The other Big Bev


    1. Thank you so much for filling in the gaps Bev and thank you so much for the medal. I know that as I sit here and write you this my little girl is smiling in Heaven. God is so good!! Your gift has given us peace for sure. Thank you!!!


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