When I sit down to write I usually try to clear my head and not think of this as a public space but rather a personal journal. When the words come so do the tears. I am grateful to have this space and grateful for what it has given me; a place to get the thoughts in my head out and a place to talk about our love drenched life.

I’ve been wanting to share with those who have been walking this journey with me that I read each and every comment that is posted and I appreciate each and every one of them. I’m sorry I can’t always respond back but know that your comments mean a lot to me. Thank you!

orcas girls 3


Yesterday was a hard day. Summer has been hard, so was winter. Life is hard.

I daydream a lot about the day I will be with my girls again; what that reunion will be like, the hug that we will share. I think about how Anna will be talking a mile a minute, sharing with me all the details of Heaven. Abigail will reveal all the secrets with a grin on her face.

I don’t want anyone to worry about me, I know that God has a plan and I can see parts of it very clearly. I still have a lot of work to do here but daydreaming about that moment is what I have and what gets me through the longing.

I am so thankful for God’s grace and for eternity. I can’t imagine going through this life without it.


12 thoughts on “Longing

  1. Darling Susan, you truly are an inspiration. I have been praying for you, Tom and your family from the time Tami gave us the news about the girls going to Heaven. I’ve been following along with your blog every day and I have to say that you have changed my life. I don’t think you realise just how much God is using you.

    Through you He has been teaching me how to love and how to truly give. I grew up in a home with a mum that didn’t really know how to show her love, though I do know she loves me. You inspire me to be a better mother to my son.

    I’m loving watching little Linus grow, that cute little face warms my heart. I’m also loving doing the Love Rocks ( and yes, you and Tami really should come ‘Down Under’ and help me do them lol). I love the joy that they bring people and how much they mean to those that are close to me. I’m loving leaving them around my town for people to find!

    Even if we never get to meet in this life time it will be awesome to meet you and your beautiful girls in eternity. Just know that much love is sent your way. You are such a beautiful woman. xxx


  2. I (as well as mostly everyone else) am so glad that you are able to share this journal with us! I can’t help but feel a sense of pride that you have decided that you feel loved and safe with us, enough to share your thoughts and feelings in this blog…
    I love hearing about how you are doing and feeling, as well as hearing all of your precious memories about the Abby and Anna. We are always here to listen to whatever you have to say.
    Love You! ❤ (and Tom and Linus)


  3. The choice you have made to share this journey of sorrow and healing has touched me and many others so profoundly. I know your heart will always hurt and that somehow you have used that pain to spread joy to others is truly miraculous. I don’t remember where I saw this quote but I thought of you when I read it….” Love has no ending, just a beginning.” With love rocks, this blog, and your own actions, you have planted the beginnings of love worldwide. I smile because I know that since love doesn’t end, there is more love in the world now because of you. More love to help ease the pain of life! Love and hugs and thank you!


  4. I am never sure if I should comment or not. I wonder if words help and comfort or not. Sometimes my heart just hurts for you so much that no words could possibly fit. When I can’t find words, I pray even more for you and Tom. We all care so much and wish you didn’t have to go through this pain. Praying continuously. Relying on Him to carry you.


    1. I feel the same way. It hurts to know that friends are feeling this. It also hurts to know that people all over the planet are feeling this for the first time today.
      I don’t like that my family is mortal, it scares me.
      Tom is always fallowing right behind her, and he never smiles much.
      I try to prepaid my self for that position every time my wife mentions her name.
      I don’t know Tom much, but I’d like to buy him a beer and talk about something good, someday…. Todd.


  5. Daydreams are beautiful things! Maybe the girls share in your daydreams with you! Maybe they are sending you happy thoughts! ❤️


  6. We haven’t met, but I pray for you often. I hope your heart is filled with the peace that only God can bring. Your sister in Christ, Kelly


  7. You are amazing! Your words not only walk us through this painful journey with you but also comfort us at the same time. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts with us. Love, Hugs and Prayers………..Always!


  8. You are in my thoughts and prayers every day…..not a day goes by that I don’t whisper a request for you to have joy fill your heart. I know that isn’t always possible but it is my request none the less.
    Love you.


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