Love Has Won

I love that when I look at our steps leading up to the girls’ rooms I can still hear them giggling, I can see Abigail running down the stairs to tell me something urgent and I can see Anna hooking her leg over the banister and sliding down to the end. I love the look on her face.

I love that when I’m in the bathroom standing at the mirror in the morning I can hear Anna singing in the shower. I love that when I think about how long her showers used to be I can hear her yell back after I’ve asked her to wrap it up, “mom, I’m relaxing under the warm water.”

I love that when I see kids hanging out in our neighborhood I can see Abigail in the mix. I love imagining the stories she would tell after “hanging out,” or the stories I would have tried to tactfully get out of her after “hanging out.” There are boys in these mixes ~ I love thinking about what teenage years would have brought our way. I love that Abigail was a great kid and that I really wasn’t worried about it all but rather excited for her.

I love that I can still hear the girls asking what’s for dinner and then making faces at me if it wasn’t what they wanted or hugging me if it was. I can still feel the hugs.

I love that whenever I see a big box I can hear a giggle coming from inside of it. It’s absolutely amazing how a big box with some holes cut into it can keep a girl laughing for hours.

I love that when anyone says IXL Math I can hear Abigail grumble under her breath.

~

I love these moments and at the same time they can cause pain in my heart. What would have been is a question I try not to ask because it always comes up empty. Instead I try to embrace these moments and the feelings that are evoked while I’m in the midst of remembering (easier said than done somedays).

I love that I can remember, feel, see, smell and hear my girls still and along with each of these memories I have a new one that I can embrace.

~

I love that a car full of children, Anna and Abigail’s friends, stopped in front of our house and little hands hid eggs filled with skittles all over our yard. We all love skittles.

I love that Tom and I got to spend Friday night with the heroes of our community and we got to see them be celebrated. Our community has a lot to be proud of in the men and woman who protect us. I know that Anna and Abigail are proud too.

I love when people share their Love Rocks stories with me and let me know that they will make and share love and joy too through Love Rocks. I love when they add that they will do that in honor of Anna and Abigail ~ two girls they may not have ever met but feel very connected to.

I love knowing that if the candles in front of the tree go out our favorite police officer lights them while he’s on duty. I love that he takes care Anna and Abigail in this way.

I love looking out my front window and watching while people take a few moments at Anna and Abigail’s tree. I love that children get excited to see the rainbow, look at their photos and find Love Rocks as keepsakes to remember their visit. I love that it is a place of peace and happiness.

I love that yesterday was a beautiful day spent with friends and family.

A day celebrating the fact that death has lost and Love has won.