Abby Style

Abs and friendsI remember worrying about them on the night my daughters went to Heaven. I remember asking God to hold them and comfort them. I remember my heart aching for their loss ~ my loss.

I remember wondering if these children would ever be the same after something so tragic invaded their lives. I cried for them because they would wake up and not have my girls to call, to tell secrets to, to talk about life with, to laugh with and to celebrate with all the milestones they had yet to encounter. They were all so little and life was so hard.

When we were in the hospital waiting for Abigail’s organs to be matched a group of her friends came to visit and say goodbye. As we were gathered around her bed I pulled back the covers to show them her mismatched brightly painted toenails ~ I wanted them to know that she was still there beyond the machines that were helping her breath. Through our heartache we all smiled, laughed and told stories about how she loved to sit and paint each nail like a work of art ~ something we now call Abby Style. I remember how my heart felt as I saw each of them trying to make sense of what was happening. I remember wanting to take their pain away. I remember wanting for the nightmare to end and for us all to wake up. I remember holding her toes and being so grateful for her artistic ability.

I am so grateful for the friendships Anna and Abby have ~ as a mom that is one thing I wanted for my children, to have solid friendships and to know what it felt like to love and  be loved by friends. My girls have both and those friendships have truly transcended through the toughest of circumstances.

This weekend two of Abigail’s dearest friends, Savannah and Grace, came over to help me with her quilt square for the Donate Life Threads for Life Quilt. These girls have become involved with Donate Life in honor of their friend and have been helping to share her donation story with their classmates, inspiring them to become a registered donor.

These two girls mean more to me than I think they could ever know. They have made a connection with Tom and I on a level that helps us stay connected with where Abigail would be at this moment in time. This connection is not due to pity or obligation, but rather is one based purely on the love they feel for their friend. When they hug Tom and I we not only feel their arms wrapped tightly around us but we also feel Abigail’s arms.  I have a feeling that they would say the same thing about hugging us…they feel Abigail too.

After doing some sewing they went to their friend’s room, sat on her bed like teenagers do, and reminisced about the good old days when life wasn’t so hard.

The door was shut so I couldn’t hear what was said and that is exactly the way Abigail would have wanted it.

Abigail's friends

Thank you Savannah and Grace for loving Abigail with your whole heart and for loving her parents just the same. She is so lucky to have you both. Love you ❤


7 thoughts on “Abby Style

  1. Your heart and soul sings with your Faith in God and the bond you have with Abigail’s friends. They are such a blessing to you. I continue to make love rocks to spread the love of your precious daughters alive in heaven.


  2. Thinking back to when Anna and Abby went to Heaven reminds me of a time when we had never experienced life at its hardest. When we all off a sudden had to take on this huge wave of sadness and grief. But what I remember most is how you and Tom opened up your hearts and embraced us fully with endless love and understanding. And I am beyond grateful that you have continued to allow us to be a part of your journey. You said it perfectly; every time we hug you we feel Abby. Every time we have heart to heart talks with you, spend time in your home, relax in Abby’s room, and remember the many memories, I feel Abby is there with us. And I will always feel Abby’s memory and personality growing in our hearts along with us.
    Abby has impacted my life in ways that words can not even begin to explain. She continues to influence my everyday decisions in the most positive way. In my opinion, the biggest gift you can give in your lifetime, is the gift of life, and Abby was able to achieve that highest honor. Along with donating her organs, Abby has changed my life and how I live every moment. And I will always strive to impact someone’s life the way she has impacted mine and many others.
    I love you Abby, and I can’t say that enough. Somewhere, and someday, over the rainbow we will find each other again.
    Susan and Tom, I love you. ❤


  3. These girls are so awesome and constantly impress me with their generosity and love. They truly love your family. The quilt square is PERFECT!


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