April 20th

A couple of weeks ago it dawned on me that Tom’s birthday and Easter were on the same day this year. Then I took a deep breath as I realized that April 20th is also the 6th month anniversary of our girls being in Heaven. When I shared this with Tom his face got so sad. Neither of us could imagine a day without our girls let alone 6 months.

As we sat there discussing what our Easter/Tom’s birthday weekend would look like, Emily and Ben here for the weekend, Threads of Life Quilt Ceremony, church, play practice and possibly a hike somewhere fun,  I had an overwhelming thought. We get to decide how we respond to these dates on the calendar. Six months, a year, three years – these time markers will all come and we will get through them by the Grace of God. Today we are six months closer to seeing our girls again in Heaven.

Today we will celebrate Jesus. Today we will celebrate Tom. Today we will thank God for his Grace and for taking care of our girls until we are with them again. We are six months closer to that day and for that I am grateful.

I couldn’t ask for a better husband and father to our children. I am so blessed!

Happy Birthday Tom, I love you to Heaven and back.tom 1

tom anna 2 Tom and Abs 1 tom and ben 1emily tom

I think it’s inevitable not to acknowledge the fact that my dad’s a warrior. In the past six months, he’s been weighed down by more emotional stress than most people deal with in their entire lives amassed. Granted, I haven’t always made it easy. I push him for more time with Amity, a trip downtown, a latte from Starbucks. Every time, he handles it as he always has; imploring me to stay home so he can spend time with his family.

My dad’s a family man. He’s always been that way and always will be that way. Therefore, losing the core of our family, Abigail and Anna, was the worst possible form of torment for him. Generally, when you see my dad at the grocery store or at the theatre, he asks you how your day was and displays a genial mood. This is at the core of what makes him warrior strong. He is able to acknowledge the gaping hole left in his life and the pain that fills it at times while still being a warm, genuine human being. He hasn’t stopped being a dad either. He calls me nearly everyday on his way home from work, greets Ben and I at the airport by jumping out behind a pillar, and makes an array of delicious meals as our short order cook.

Dad, I wish you the best birthday that you are currently able of having. Allow some joy to trickle into your life, whether it’s through Linus or theater or whatever God has planned for you. I miss you terribly when I’m down South. I think most often of the days when we would turn up Muse on your stereo and jump from couch to couch in the fancy living room. I hope that we continue to create some good memories and try to pick up the shards of our lives and figure out how they fit together differently now. You have the strength of a warrior and the heart of a saint. I look up to you for guidance on this confusing road we are currently traveling. I love you too much to adequately put to paper, but I hope this is a good start.

All my love and then some,
Your Emily

It is Finished

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These words are so sweet and so true. The Grace we are given through Christ is such a blessing. I feel that Grace every single day and I know that one day I too will be in eternity with Jesus and with my girls. I am looking forward to the hug!

I can’t help but think of Mary today. How proud she was of her son but at the same time not wanting him to leave her. My heart hurts thinking about the pain she felt, I know that pain.

I also know the peace that Jesus brings in the depths of our suffering. I know first hand that he provides us with a shield that protects us from this world and gives us, if we let him, peace knowing that their is more than just this life on earth.

Mary’s son saved us, all of us and all we need to do is believe and allow him to love us.

I can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, my girls are in the arms of Mary today ~ just like I’m in the arms of Jesus every day.


Watching over the Girls

I have started a blog post four times this morning and have found that I am at a loss for words. I have so much going on in my head and in life that I’m finding it really hard to sort it all out. So I’ve decided that I’m going to post a picture today instead.

This month my old guy would be 14 years old. Sampson was my constant companion for so many years and when I used to think about the day he would go to Heaven I would get sick to my stomach, couldn’t imagine my life without him. I know now that he has a more important job in Heaven than he ever did here on earth. His new job is to watch over Anna and Abigail, to enjoy the splendor of paradise and to chase hundreds of tennis balls and never get tired. My old dog is with my girls and for that I am grateful.

So instead of trying to sort out all that I’m feeling today I’m going to spend some time and remember all of the unconditional love that my big old lab gave me and the rest of my family.

So much Love!

anna and sampson

Dance Party in Heaven

Rowan is eight years old today.  Anna was so blessed to call Rowan her best buddy and the one friend in her life she knew the longest. Wishing she was here to celebrate on earth with him today but I know that there’s a dance party going on in Heaven in his honor.

Rowan’s 1st Birthday

Rowan 1st birthday

Rowan’s 2nd Birthday

year 2 rowan and anna

Rowan’s 3rd Birthday

rowan 3

Rowan’s 4th Birthday

rowan 4

Rowan’s 5th Birthday

rowan 5

Rowan’s 6th Birthday

Rowan 6th

Rowan’s 7th Birthday

Rowan 7

Happy 8th Birthday Rowan! We love you tons and so does Anna and Abigail.

rowan and anna