I was sitting reading this morning when I first heard it. It was the thumping sound I heard the night my girls went to Heaven. Abigail was being life flighted and the helicopter was going to land at the playground across the street. The sound was loud and I had just found out that Anna went to Heaven.

There was a house fire around the corner this morning with no injuries. The helicopters are news related. The sound is a trigger and will stay with me all day. All day I will replay the sound and remember the exact moment of that night.

This is my life.

Hoping I see a rainbow today!

10 thoughts on “Trigger

  1. I woke up to the sound of the helicopters, completely startled and thought about how you and Tom must feel. I’m so sorry these sounds we all used to take for granted as a normal part of life now brings up tremendous feelings and memories so horrible. I’m just so very sorry. I hate that. :o/


  2. This is the second morning since October that the sound of helicopters have caused me to leap from my bed needing to find out what is going on in our neighborhood; incredibly worried about the effect they are having on you and Tom, Brenda and Phil, Amy and Chad, Limor…everyone! I imagine a collective swift lifting of heads from our pillows as we all fight to push the memories from our minds in the face of such a thunderous reminder. I know what it does to me, I can’t even imagine what it does to you and Tom.
    I hope your day has gotten better.
    Love you guys. xoxoxoxoxxo


  3. Oh Susan that sounds so hard.. So much love.
    And one day if you want, I have a story about people found this sound so hard and such a trigger and now it is a sound mixed with associations of hope.

    But today love rocks are being left in Italy and prayers are coming your way.


  4. Dear Susan,

    I found your website recently through a Pinterest Post on your Love Rocks – I finally got the Modge Podge and planned to make them for my children today.

    Your website and most of your posts bring me to tears, and always to my knees before our Father. Your loss leaves me speechless and heartbroken – and always unable to comment because it just seems I can never say enough to relate my gratitude to you for entrusting strangers with your journey – nor can I find the right words to convey the depth of my compassion. I cannot imagine how I would survive the wrenching pain of losing my children. Yet the very fact that you have found a way to continue to trust in your Savior, even when such a powerful trigger begins your day, gives me Hope.

    Your daily choice to trust, and your authentic testimony bring me back to Jesus each time I read a Post from you. Thank you.

    I pray for you constantly – and today I will hold you in my heart all day long.

    With all my love,
    Julia Franklin


    1. Thank you so much Julia for praying and thank you for your kind words. I hope you have fun making Love Rocks with your kiddos…they are very addicting to make and even more so to give or hide. I just got back from hiding a patch around Portland : )


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