Happiness Journal

This morning, in a hurry to miss traffic on his way into work, Tom forgot his cell phone. I woke up to the sound of it beeping because his text message box was too full – a message was trying to be delivered.

I needed the beeping to stop.

I found his phone, pulled up his text messages and went to the beginning to see if I could delete a few to let the new one come in. The first one I saw was from me and it had a picture attached….March 2011.

The three of us were going to Ohio for spring break and a wedding shower my mom was having for me. Abigail was nervous to be away from her dad but excited to venture out with Anna and I.

We checked in with Tom a lot that week since he was home alone (playing his guitar without distractions) while we were off having fun.

Abigail’s arms tightly wrapped around Anna make me happy. I can only imagine that these two are inseparable in Heaven.

I’m thankful for Tom’s beeping phone this morning and the memory of this moment.

Thank you for the kind words and prayers. I feel your prayers and can’t say enough how much I appreciate them. There are good days, not so good days and days that just really, really suck in our new journey through this life.

This morning I read this scripture ~

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.  ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Yesterday, and many other days, I try to make sense of it all – try to process why my children are in Heaven, why this happened to us, why, why, why!  That road always ends up empty and filled with so much heartache – there are no answers to those questions that make sense. Yet, I still have days that I just want answers.

I have found the only thing that brings true peace to my heart is trusting in the Lord and trusting that the path He will lead me on will take me straight to Him and my girls. When I trust I see that path so clearly.  Somedays it’s just hard to trust because my heart hurts more than I can bear.

Today I’m choosing trust and I am filling all of the gaps of “why” with His love.

Today I’m focusing on my girls smiling and holding tightly to one another in Heaven.