Last night I had a dream that I found Anna. She was missing and I found her.

I remember thinking I needed to call her dad and tell him, he was very worried about her too. I was afraid though that when I called he would want to take her for the weekend – one of the heartaches of a two house family is that there is always someone that is missing. This was something that always concerned Anna before she went to Heaven.

In my dream I held her tight promising I would never let go of her. She buried her head in my neck.

Then I woke up.

I cherish these encounters we have in the middle of the night. They seem to be more frequent lately ~ about once a week. I think Anna knows my heart is hurting.  Sometimes she sends her sister to visit which I love because I miss Abigail so much.

Their visits make the distance between here and Heaven seem less.

water park

“The fact that our heart yearns for something the earth can’t supply is the proof that Heaven must be our home.”  C.S. Lewis


2 thoughts on “Distance

  1. Have you read “A Grief Observed” by C.S. Lewis? Bill read this book after your girls went to heaven to try to get a handle on his own emotions about the loss. He found his personal thoughts of living with grief to be very comforting. He is holding his copy here to give to you and Tom whenever you might want to read it, if you don’t already have it. Let us know if you would like it. We’d be glad to drop it in your mailbox. We continue to pray for whatever is needed, heavenly or earthly, to help you get through each day. I think of your girls and both of you every day and say a prayer for peace and comfort.


  2. Susan, I’ve only recently found my way to your blog, and I’ve spent a lot of time reading back through it over the last couple days. This is some of the most beautiful, grace-filled writing that I’ve ever read; thank you ever so much for having the courage to share. To my regret, I did not know Anna and Abby well when they were with us, and I’m grateful for this chance to know them a little bit better now. Peace be with you and yours.


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