This week I had lots of dreams about my girls, I think they know when I need to see them, interact with them and most of all need a hug. I cherish my night time visits.
One of the dreams I had about Abigail was that she was a teenager but in her 8 yr old body. It was a very vivid dream and Abigail made me laugh by her antics (details I’m keeping for myself right now). What I appreciated most was that, being in her 8 yr old body, she took me back to our first summer together.
We were just getting to know each other and trying to figure out how this was all going to work. I can’t say it was always easy, it’s hard at times to blend a family, but Abigail welcomed Anna and I from the start. Losing her “youngest” status was difficult but she moved into the role as a big sister with pride and I think cherished the fact that Anna adored her ~ well, until Anna did everything she could to be like Abigail which added a new word to our sibling vocabulary, annoying.
Our relationship as mother/daughter was growing and she was truly a gift for me, a gift I never really knew I needed. I had a lot to learn and she was doing everything to help me in that process. When we messed up I would often go to her and ask, “what can I do to make this easier?” We would then sit on her bed and do our best to figure out how to move forward. She was so insightful and open ~ wise beyond her years, something I don’t think I truly appreciated at the time.
Today I would love to sit with her face to face and ask, “Abigail, what can I do to make this easier?”
My heart longs for her so much. I miss my Abigail!