“Alone Time”

Alice and Tom are asleep upstairs. When she awakes in the early morning hours he takes her upstairs so I can sleep, uninterrupted, for a couple of hours. When I get up I usually find them asleep in the rocking chair.

Tom and Alice sleeping

I whisper, “are you good?”

With eyes closed, he smiles and nods yes.

My heart melts.

With some time left on my “alone time” clock here I sit, blank page in front of me.

To left of my computer I have my favorite picture of Anna and I ~ cheeks pressed closely together (our favorite photo pose). It was taken the 3 days before she went to Heaven.

I’m glad I didn’t know that was going to be our last photo together.

cheeks

Photograph by Nicole Zena Photography

I was getting photos taken of Sampson and I knew I wanted some of the three of us, the way it was in the beginning ~ Mama, daughter and their big old dog.

Sampson was getting old and struggled getting in and out of the car. It was his last adventure away from the house and I knew we had to make it a good one. We brought a loaf of bread because we both knew that he would do anything for bread. Anna picked off pieces trying to get him to look in the direction of the camera. I can still hear her laughing because a loaf of bread was definitely more than enough to keep his focus.

I can still hear her laughing.

I look at our photo everyday and I can still feel her face pressed against mine. I can still hear her laughter as she danced around holding a chunk of bread. Sometimes I worry about the time that has passed since this photo was taken. I worry that one day I  will no longer hear her or remember how she feels. That wave of fear knocks me off my feet and brings me to my knees.

In those moments I beg God to never allow that day to come. I beg Him to always allow her and her sister to be close and for me to remember and feel.

Today, I hear her laughter and I am grateful.

 

7 thoughts on ““Alone Time”

  1. You are doing such a wonderful job of keeping your beautiful daughter’s memories alive. I will pray that you will always be able to feel your precious Anna as you did in the pictures. God Bless everyone of you. Know that you are in many hearts near and far.

    Like

  2. Such beautiful pictures. I pray you never loose those voices but somehow trust you won’t. Such special memories and I pray for strength for all of you.

    Like

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