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A Gift from Heaven

I stopped by to deliver a gift to my dear friend Shannon and her lovely family. They have been so supportive this past year and have continued to be present in our lives; through the love and joy and through the tears. Shannon and her family mean the world to us, I’m sure that’s why she was selected to be the messenger.

She seemed nervous at first, not really knowing how to even tell me about the gift she had for me. On the table I could see two flowers made of metallic paper and beads with stems made out of silver pipe cleaners. The flowers were presented in a beautiful yellow vase ~ I thought to myself, it looks like something my girls would make.

Shannon began by telling me she had a vivid dream of my Anna a couple of weeks back. My girl didn’t say anything (she usually doesn’t in my dreams either) but she gave Shannon two handmade flowers.

She went on and told me that when she woke up she knew that she had to do something. She searched and searched and couldn’t find the flowers, like the ones in the dream, anywhere. She laughed as she said she started away from Forest Grove ~ searching the stores she knew had artificial handmade flowers ~ nothing seemed right.

She then came back and went into our local antique shop where she found handmade flowers made from a local community member. They were perfect. She bought just two, like in her dream, and then put them in the vase for presentation. As she shared she laughed because she wasn’t sure about it all and checked with her daughter to make sure she wasn’t doing the wrong thing by giving it to me. Her daughter approved.

I was at a loss for words because I knew what was happening. Anna was giving me a Christmas gift from Heaven.

This beautiful handmade gift is not from my dear friend but rather from my Anna. Shannon’s gift to me was that she listened and was not afraid to be the messenger. I think Anna knew that Shannon would do just that and in a loving and caring way, that is why she chose her.

Thank you so much Shannon for being Anna’s messenger and for being such an amazing friend. I love you so much!

My girls are celebrating the birth of Jesus today and they are in His presence. I can only imagine the Love and Joy they are feeling on this glorious day.

Feeling Their Love and Joy

I walked into the Gap Outlet in Lincoln City and my heart started aching. It was packed due to all of the back to school shoppers ~ it was very reminiscent of the previous year. Anna and I were in Ohio visiting and we stopped at the local outlet mall and went to the Gap to do some back to school shopping. It was such a fun day with my girl and one I will always cherish.

As I stood there, alone, I reached into my purse and found my bag of Love Rocks. I pulled one out and headed straight to the girls section. I looked around thinking about what her taste in clothes would be this school year, I smiled and then found, what I thought, would be the one thing she would have to have. I lifted the pile of shirts and tucked the Love Rock out of sight.

As I left my heart was heavy but I had a smile on my face for my girl.

She sat at her computer typing a private message on a group Facebook page she had liked.

“Good Afternoon, My daughter recently went through an unexpected, yet successful heart procedure in October. The ordeal has made us all grateful for our health.
My daughter stayed at Randall Children’s Hospital. The experience has forever changed us. We would like to make gift bags for the kids and staff and include “Love Rocks” in each bag. However, I am not so crafty, but I would like to attempt to make these. How do we go about doing so?

Thank you for your time.

Bless you!

She was working and it was busy. She was straightening the back of the store and saw some shirts that needed folded and that is when she found it, a little rock with a fabric heart and a card that said it was a Love Rock. After work she got online and looked it up. She posted a message on the Facebook page saying she found a Love Rock in Lincoln City while she was at work. A reply came back asking where she worked. She replied the Gap Outlet.

We stood in the McDonalds parking lot, half way between our homes, for the exchange. One mom connected to a hospital because the doctors and nurses did everything they could to make sure her daughter’s final days were comfortable and another mom grateful to the same hospital for taking such good care of her daughter through an unexpected heart procedure. Both moms wanting to give back in honor of their daughters.

I had made up 20 special Love Rocks for her to put with her gift bags. We stood sharing about our lives and found we had a lot of similarities. The conversation flowed as if we had been friends for a long time.

As we were talking she shared with me about her best friend, she lived in Lincoln City. She shared how her friend was dealing with the loss of two children her and her husband were in the process of adopting. They had rooms made, clothes bought and had visited the children in their country to begin the process of bonding. She had found out in the summer that they weren’t going to be able to adopt the children and were grieving that loss. She then said that shortly after they found out her friend found a Love Rock while she was working at the Gap Outlet and it had meant a lot to her to find it at that exact moment. She really needed the love and joy.

I knew instantly we had a connection ~ my heart swelled.

I’m not sure how it all works and why these little rocks seem to connect people with one another. One may say it’s a coincidence but I have read too many stories since April 20th of how peoples lives are touched by Love Rocks to say it’s just by chance.

This past Saturday I was reminded again just how powerful it is to choose love and joy. By making that choice we then become connected to those around us, we open our hearts to the beauty of this world and are reminded of what matters most.

As I drove back to my house I talked with my girls about what had just happened. I know that they see the bigger picture and smile as they watch me try to process what this is all about. That is when I heard it, the whisper.

“Mom, don’t try to figure it out, just feel our love and joy.”

I am keeping both of these women close in prayer because besides leaving Love Rocks, it is what I can do. I know first hand the power of prayer!

Chasing Tennis Balls in Heaven

No words today just a picture of my big yellow dog, Sampson ~ my soul dog.

There was a time I thought Sampson was naughty…nope, he was absolutely perfect. (As I’m typing this Linus just ran into the room with a sweater and a pair of socks tucked into his mouth.)

There is no doubt in my mind that this big guy is the constant companion to Anna and Abigail now ~ I can sit all day and daydream about what they are all doing in Heaven.

Today, I’m going to do just that, daydream about Heaven.

Happiness Journal

Today the second graders, Anna’s classmates, were having a Cinderella Ball after weeks of looking at all the Cinderella stories from all over the world.

I would have been at the school helping if my life was what I had planned.

I love that Anna’s school has left the door open for Tom and I to share in these experiences with her friends. I love that the school community supports our presence and I love that her classmates give us big hugs every time they see us.

Today we were Queen Susan and King Tom ~ I’m sure the girls are rolling their eyes, with a smile of course, in Heaven and the thought of that smile makes me happy.

Somedays…

I fill my time doing this.

These Love Rocks will be shared tomorrow at Westside Kaiser Hospital and St. Vincent’s Hospital in Portland. If you find one know that they were made with lots of love and with two amazing girls in mind. Very therapeutic day for this mama.

The Magic Number

At the end of this month my Abigail is turning 13 years old. She couldn’t wait to be a teenager ~ 13 was the magic number. I will be honest and say that I was a little nervous to parent a teenager…ok, a lot nervous. I knew that it was a huge responsibility and I didn’t want to mess it/her up. A week before she went to Heaven I remember sitting on her bed chatting with her about something pertaining to school.

As she was talking I could see it, her teenage attitude, and it was lovely.

I asked her if she felt lovely and she asked what I meant by that. I told her that I was nervous about this transition in her life and how I was going to do parenting her through it. I told her that so far all I could see is that she was lovely. I asked her again, “do you feel lovely?”

She turned from what she was doing and gave me her signature smile and said, “Yes, I feel lovely.”

I’m so glad we had that conversation.

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