Dirty Socks

The sun is shining through my window in my new studio space. We have reconfigured some of the spaces in our house to help with the it not feeling so empty. I am upstairs in between Anna and Abigail’s rooms. I can see both of their beds from where I sit. I have their artwork on the walls and favorite photos of them on my desk. Outside of each of their rooms hangs a homemade sign, first Abigail felt the need and Anna followed in her footsteps.

Abigail’s sign reads:

Stranger Danger Knock First Please Abs Room

Anna’s sign reads:

Anna (in very fancy bubble letters) Knock First Please

These personalized signs bring a smile to my face and memory of the girls fighting about going into each other’s rooms. I smile now, I’m sure I was frustrated then. I smile at so many memories of my girls, even when I know I was frustrated at the time. What parent isn’t frustrated with their kids at times?

anna pinning abs

The other day I was in Anna’s closet, a place that is hard to go. I opened up her dance bag that had her tap shoes and some socks in it, dirty socks, two pairs none matching. I sat on the floor of Anna’s closet and cried remembering that I told her to make sure to take the socks out so I could wash them. I sat with them pressed against my face so glad she didn’t listen to me.

I have a pile of laundry that is sitting on my bed waiting to be folded. It doesn’t have little girl clothes in it anymore, their clothes are all clean and put away except for those socks, they will never be washed.

anna feet
Photo taken by Anna while waiting for her mom at the Dentist.

8 thoughts on “Dirty Socks

  1. Oh wow Susan.

    I love that Anna takes photos of her shoes (and with that combination of colors, I would too!!) just like you sometimes do of your boots. I only do that when I am feeling really happy and when I really like who I am and how I look, literally from the ground up. I hope she was feeling like that at that dental office moment.

    And I second the comments above.. you do write very beautifully and so capture those moments and details that make time stop for a moment. So many hugs Susan. Thanks for touching our hearts today.


  2. Your writing is so beautiful. Thank you from all of my heart for sharing these stories with us. I love those cute feet with the different socks on! Much love to you!


  3. Anna must have known you needed those dirty socks. I cry for your loss and could not imagine the hourly struggles you must both go through. I saw a rainbow above your house on friday evening when I was driving hwy 47, it was right over your neighborhood. It made me smile knowing your girls are always there. Love you both, biggest hugs to you.


  4. It must be incredibly difficult not to have the little dirty socks and their clothes filtering through the laundry. So many reminders. So many little things that we all take for granted about the joys and difficulties of daily life with children. My heart goes out to you both. I sincerely try to appreciate everything about my kids, like dirty laundry, needing to give them haircuts, breaking up petty arguments and sassy mouth and eye rolling from a teenager. The night Anna and Abby went to heaven was my wake up call to really savor little things and thank God daily for all my blessings. I know it’s hard and you’d rather not be that shining reminder of God’s grace. We love you and keep praying for His grace to keep holding you together, all the little pieces of your heart. Love, love and more love sent your way. Hold those little dirty socks close when you feel your heart aching badly. I know the girls want you to feel their love. We faithfully pray for you and Tom.


  5. You have a way of making every moment sound beautiful and meaningful. Thank you for opening my eyes to the beauty in the mundane and in every day…even in the arguments and frustrations of family life.


  6. When I read your blogs like this it makes me take a step back when I start to get on the grandkids about cleaning their room. I whine about having to do all the housework, yada, yada, yada. I so appreciate you sharing these kinds of things with us.


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