The sun is shining through my window in my new studio space. We have reconfigured some of the spaces in our house to help with the it not feeling so empty. I am upstairs in between Anna and Abigail’s rooms. I can see both of their beds from where I sit. I have their artwork on the walls and favorite photos of them on my desk. Outside of each of their rooms hangs a homemade sign, first Abigail felt the need and Anna followed in her footsteps.
Abigail’s sign reads:
Stranger Danger Knock First Please Abs Room
Anna’s sign reads:
Anna (in very fancy bubble letters) Knock First Please
These personalized signs bring a smile to my face and memory of the girls fighting about going into each other’s rooms. I smile now, I’m sure I was frustrated then. I smile at so many memories of my girls, even when I know I was frustrated at the time. What parent isn’t frustrated with their kids at times?
The other day I was in Anna’s closet, a place that is hard to go. I opened up her dance bag that had her tap shoes and some socks in it, dirty socks, two pairs none matching. I sat on the floor of Anna’s closet and cried remembering that I told her to make sure to take the socks out so I could wash them. I sat with them pressed against my face so glad she didn’t listen to me.
I have a pile of laundry that is sitting on my bed waiting to be folded. It doesn’t have little girl clothes in it anymore, their clothes are all clean and put away except for those socks, they will never be washed.