Today Randall Children’s Hospital held their yearly Day of Remembrance for all the families that have lost a child over the past year. Emily, Ben, Tom and I went down to the hospital for the first time since the week of October 21st. I think we were all a bit on edge this morning anticipating the emotions that would emerge when we walked into the hospital again. We sat in silence for most of the trip downtown.
The service was beautiful and we were able to see some people who touched our lives during Abigail’s hospital stay. We also got to hug and thank them in person. This felt so good to do.
As we sat in a room full of people, lovely harp music playing in the background, I couldn’t help but realize that we are not alone. These people, other moms and dads, had suffered a great loss just like us. They too woke up this morning with the reality that their little one was in Heaven. They too have to figure out how to manage their lives on this new journey, so new for me that I can close my eyes and still smell the leaves that were falling from Anna and Abigail’s tree the night they went to Heaven.
We are not alone on this path of trying to figure out how to live without our children, the path that no one wants to be on.
I exchanged numbers with a mom from our neighboring town. She had seen our story on the news and wanted to give me a hug, let me know she was praying for us. I told her that I would pray for her. She is a mom, just like me, that has to wake up in the morning, take a deep breath and get by minute by minute without being able to hug her youngest. Her story may be different than mine but we both have so much in common.
We daydream about a place where rainbows are slides, rivers are made of chocolate and our children hold hands with Jesus.