Beautifully Simple

I’m having a hard time finding words to express my feelings. My heart hurts and as the air gets cooler and leaves start to change my sorrow gets deeper.

Last year on Sept. 8th at this time I would have just picked Anna up from school. On the way home she would tell me all about her day and I would tell her about mine. She would ask me what we were having for dinner.

When we arrived home Abigail would be doing her homework, she would greet us and then would ask if she could go hang out with her friend down the street. I would tell she could once her homework was completed and she did her reading.

She would complain about having homework, get it all done and then head to her friend’s house.

Anna would run upstairs, grab her babies and start playing. As I prepared dinner she would bring “her children” down to the cafe and have an after school snack. I would pretend to be a waitress telling her that she needed to leave a big tip. She would leave the cafe and would stay close by taking her “little ones” to the “library.” She would sit in the big red chair holding her babies and would sound out words from the books I usually read to her.

I would smile.

Tom would come home, kiss his wife and after quickly changing his clothes he and Anna would walk down to let Abigail know it was time for dinner. They would all come home, wash-up and we would sit around the dining room table.

Holding hands, Tom would pray giving thanks for our blessed life.

We would eat.

Anna would try to escape her seat numerous times by “forgetting” something in the kitchen or having an urgent need to use the restroom.

Abigail, without asking for permission, would take her cooked carrots, onions and mushrooms and place them on Tom’s plate. Tom would take them graciously. I would tell her she should ask before touching someone else’s plate.

Tom would ask how everyone’s day went. We would go around the table sharing.

Anna would make weird noises and start laughing uncontrollable. I would tell her to mind her manners without cracking a smile ~ I was very skilled at controlling my laughter when trying to teach table manners.

Tom’s foot would touch mine, we would make eye contact and smile at each other.

Blessed.

When finished the girls would ask to be excused.

We would excuse them and ask them what they wanted to do after the dishes were done. When the weather was nice it was always the park or a long walk around the neighborhood with Sampson. They would clear their dishes, put them in the dishwasher and then head outside to play in the fairy garden while they waited for us.

Tom and I would sit, chat about our day for a few minutes and boil water.

With a cup of tea in hand and Sampson by our side we would head outside for the evening.

It was all so beautifully simple.

walk

Just for the sake of keeping it real ~ sometimes the girls fought, sometimes dinner was burnt and sometimes it was raining and we were stuck inside.

Either way, my heart did not hurt and our life was beautifully simple.

 

14 thoughts on “Beautifully Simple

  1. Your words always paint such vivid pictures. You portray your love-drenched life and the joy you had, then the pain and loss. I want to reach out and say something to lighten the pain but know only God can do that. Today I am picturing the girls sitting with Jesus and telling Him about their adventures today as they would be doing with you if they could. I pray for you and send you all my love.

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  2. I find comfort in your words, I lost my only child, my son in January of this year and still find memories to painfull to recall. You give me hope that someday I can bring those moments out and hold them to my heart. Know that you are such a beacon of hope to me and so many others, mothers of the heart I call us. Keep writing I will be reading and thank you💕

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  3. Oh Susan… this is so beautiful. You captured your simple world and rich life and familiar rhythm. It is clear how much you treasured it even then. Holding you in my heart as fall settled onto Oregon.

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    • This is beautiful but sad to read! I know this is the right thing for you to do and God be with you as you walk through each day, getting closer to that horrific day. I hope you still have plans to be elsewhere
      When that day occurs. You have made many positive steps and although hard, I feel sure you are doing GREAT THINGS FOR YOURSELF AND OTHERS! God be with you.

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