Heaven Day

rainbow heaven

Came out of our house this morning to this ❤

Last night I slept the entire night (which is not normal for me these days) and woke up feeling totally covered in prayer.

Thank you ❤

The anticipation of a day is sometimes the hardest when dates on the calendar have meaning ~ holidays, changing of a season, birthdays and Heaven Day.

Heaven Day ~ a date on the calendar that marks that we are another year closer to our girls.

The past 2 years have flown by…I truly feel like it was just yesterday Abigail was picking out Tom’s clothes for church and Anna and I were making waffles for breakfast. I’m grateful that those memories are still so vivid and that they feel so close.

I was told early on that year 2 was the hardest. We are through year 2 and I can say that it’s all been pretty hard. The longing in my heart for Anna and Abigail will never change and/or ease ~ never. What I can say is that in choosing to love, in choosing to celebrate their lives and take all of the focus off the negative and put it all on how beautiful my girls are (not were), both inside and out, keeps them here with us.

Shortly after they went to Heaven I had a tremendous fear that one day they would just go away. That I would have to say goodbye for good and that I would be expected to move on.  My fear was that someone someday would say, “Susan, it’s time.”

I made a commitment to the girls and to myself  that I would not do that, ever, I promised them that their legacy would be far-reaching and I would do everything I could to hold them tight for as long as we were apart. I am sure that in Heaven, seeing the whole picture, they have no expectations for me. Being their mom, which will never change, I will always take care of them ~ I can’t imagine ever “moving on” from that.

On the morning of Oct. 20, 2013 I was proud of my girls for the young ladies they were becoming. I remember feeling so blessed to have such a beautiful, loving and caring family. I remember daydreaming about what they would do in their lives and who they would become.

This morning, Oct. 20, 2015, I am still proud but in ways I would have never imagined.  Anna and Abigail have shown me what it means to truly love and to do so without expectations. They have been a light and a link to the Hope that we all can have through God.

One day there will be an Oct. 20th when we are all together in Heaven seeing the whole picture and feeling the purest of love and joy there is.

I can’t wait for that day!!!

Thank you all again for your constant love, support and prayers. We truly feel blessed by each and every one of you ❤ heaven day

23 thoughts on “Heaven Day

  1. God bless you ❤ Thoughts and prayers are with you today. My husband found one of your rocks while he was detailing and sweeping a parking lot. What a beautiful heart you have!

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  2. I have learned so much from you and your girls in the past 2 years, and I thank you for that. It has changed my life. Becca is spending the night with us tonight and she lit the candles in honor of Anna and Abby. Love, Hugs and Prayers……..ALWAYS.

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  3. God Bless you and your family. You have touched many hearts and eased much pain for families who have gone through similar trials. The love and joy you spread is a most wonderful gift.

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  4. I left a Love Rock in our “Not so secret garden” at the school where I teach in Puyallup, Wa today…..and another in my brother’s rock garden (all shaped like hearts). I’ll try to post some pictures!

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  5. I wanted to let you know that your story has truly touched my heart. I am Ashley Cox’s grandma. One day I was having a very hard time with some personal things and I had read your story here. Knowing your loss, I found some material and some rocks and one of my other grand children and I made love rocks. She put some in her pocket and took them home, I put mine in a bag and took them to work. I have been sharing love rocks with adults and little children where I work. I also have been sharing your story, your love, faith and commitment to remembering your two beautiful girls through Love Rocks. Thank you for being such a positive influence in so many lives including my own. God Bless you and your family.

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  6. Has it really been 2 years!? While I knew you from a distance at church, I am even farther away now. (We moved from Hillsboro to the Spokane Coeur d’Alene area 4 years ago.). Think yr oldest and my youngest were in a dance/tumbling class in Forest Grove many years ago. 🙂
    It has been a joy to see many of my friends from Oregon and people all over the world unite around your girls. God is very, very good.
    Kim

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  7. Susan: I also long for the day when you will all be together again. –When we’ll all be together with the One who understands everything. Love you, Margot

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  8. Although I’m not geographically far from you (Damascus) I didn’t learn about your girls until early this year when a friend who lives in Forest Grove shared a post on Face Book, as I was out of town dealing with my mother’s first mastectomy. From the day I heard about your girls and you and love rocks, I have not been able to get any of you out of my mind. I’ve become a creator and placer of love rocks. My two young grandsons love helping me make the rocks (they pick which heart is going on which rock) and then they get great joy out of leaving them behind on our hikes and walks and other travels. I’ve written about you and your girls on my blog and mention love rocks often in the same place. I can tell you that your girls are being thought of all over the globe and people are learning more and more about love rocks every day. Your girls have made a tremendous impact son thousands upon thousands of people…and their love and joy is still spreading, as is you strength and compassion. Thank you for being such an inspiration and teacher for us.

    Sending you many hugs, prayers, and healing thoughts. I too am lighting candles tonight!

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  9. I just read your blog entry & immediately after I looked out over our backyard. I just picked up my new glasses an hour ago. I can see very clearly in the distance but my close up vision is blurry. Heaven is so clear & Jesus carries us through our blurry times. Peace be with you & Tom today.

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  10. I love you. Your girls beautiful, full of grace and love and joy and huge lights in this world.. just like their mom and dad. I love you so much and am honored to call you friend! Covering you in prayer today and always!

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  11. I am a neighbor and fellow Sonrise family member. Although we’ve not met in person, I’ve spent many hours sitting by Anna and Abby’s tree, praying for you and for your Angels. It’s brought me comfort as I’ve dealt with a loss of a whole other kind. The Love and Joy that you and your Angels bring is felt by all! God bless you!

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  12. I live just a block away from you my son goes to the same school your daughter did. Every time we drive by your house and your girls tree my heart breaks for you. I pray for you and your husband every day. You are such strong people. You will always be they’re mom no matter what life brings or if a memory slips nothing will ever take that from you. God bless you may your day bring happy remembrance tears not sad ones. Thankyou for always sharing your love and making us appreciate how precious our loved ones are. With love the Zavala Family

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  13. Susan, your family is a blessing to all of us. You all continue to inspire through love and love is what it is all about from beginning to forever. Sending lots of love to each and every one of you, xo

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  14. My heart is always with you. I think about you a lot. Thank you for sharing your story. You’ve made me hold my girls just a little tighter and cherish the small things in life. Thank you. We love you and your girls.💕

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  15. God Bless you and your family, here and in heaven! You are doing more for them and their gifts through you are offering more than you realize! Through you a True Testament of “What LOVE Is!” Becomes more real for those who follow your life💞Carry on and know that each day you are doing so much good here on Earth😍

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  16. I admire what a strong woman you are Susan and your girls were blessed long before they went to Heaven. Their time here was limited to a few short years but it was filled with so much love and continues to be. Every child deserves to have a Mama like you, but few are as blessed– your little ones is a lucky girl. We are making love rocks up here in Cambridge , Canada with my grandchildren and putting them around for someone to find and spread Anna and Abby message of Love and Joy. Thoughts and prayers are with you always– love gayle

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

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