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Perfect Fabric Hearts

I remember writing in this space about my idea of spreading love and joy through little rocks with fabric hearts on them and wondering if it would go anywhere. I knew that my close friends and maybe my community would possibly get into spreading love and joy in honor of my girls but I truly did not expect what has happened.

These rocks, like the people who make and find them, have stories to tell.

These stories are about the family who sat around the table making them, laughing about how dad can’t cut out perfect fabric hearts and feeling grateful that this activity has brought them together as a family.

These stories are about remembering a loved one that has gone to heaven, finding their favorite character on fabric and allowing the life that is so missed to be remembered with every stroke of the paint brush that secures the fabric heart.

These stories are about a community that is so love-drenched that Love Rocks can be found just about anywhere.

These stories are about the families who are celebrating the union between their daughter and son and making sure that everyone who has come to celebrate goes home with a token of their love.

These stories are about a young child who loves making the perfect Love Rocks to secretly give to his neighbors and friends.

These stories are about a mom who travels to the coast to honor her son in Heaven and while there finds a Love Rock placed in a spot that makes her look to the heavens and say thank you.

These stories are about a man who has lived a long life and when given a Love Rock holds it tightly as he takes his last breath here on earth.

There are so many stories to tell and I feel so grateful that people have shared them with me.

At 8:30 tonight it will be 3 months since we launched Love Rocks on Facebook. I can’t believe it’s only been 3 months.

Tonight at 8:30 it will also be 9 months since my girls went to Heaven. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday we were eating waffles for breakfast and trying to get out the door to get to church on time. Other days I feel like it’s been so long since I’ve touched them, kissed them and held them tight.

I know that Love Rocks is here for reason and that reason is far greater than I could have ever imagined or understand.

Thank you so much for going on this journey with us, for celebrating the life of my girls, celebrating love, joy and the undeniable goodness of spreading happiness to those around you.

I’m sure, as always, Anna and Abigail are smiling in Heaven watching all the love being shared. I am sure they are so proud to be part of something so big, so beautiful and so important.

These Love Rocks, the first ones in our family made by Anna, Abigail and my mother-in-law Sarah, are my all time favorites. They remind me of a time when life was crazy, busy and wonderful. They were shared with my closest friends and family at our wedding and many have beautiful words written on them from our guests. These Love Rocks are the inspiration for choosing to honor my girls and my community in this manner and they hold a very special place in our hearts and in our home.

Happiness Journal

Anna and Saige, a doll she bought with her own money last August.

I always knew that the time would come when Anna would want one. She loved her baby dolls and I knew that an American Girl Doll was definitely in her future.

For her 6th birthday my parents met us in Seattle and we went, for the first time, to the most amazing place in the eyes of a doll crazed 6-year-old, The American Girl Doll Store. We both walked around with big eyes, looking at all the beautiful dolls and their fun accessories. I knew the minute we walked in that we would have a couple of bags in our hands, and a new friend for Anna, on the way out. I knew because I couldn’t wait to play with Anna’s new doll too.

It was a magical day for all of us and I know that my mom and dad felt honored to be able to buy Anna her new friend McKenna. We actually walked out of the store with two dolls. Abigail was turning 10 years old soon and I knew that even though she may only have a few doll years left in her she needed to feel the magic too.

Last night, Anna’s best friend stopped by with her parents to drop us off a yummy treat. While they were here I had a thought pop into my head and I ran upstairs, got McKenna, her toothbrush, some night cloths for her and some matching night cloths that Anna used to wear. I ran back down and asked Anna’s friend if she would be willing to have a sleep over with Anna’s doll. I told her she doesn’t get out much these days and that she would probably appreciate a visit at her house.

Her eyes got big and she said of course and hugged Miss McKenna as though they were long-lost friends being reunited.

When I sit in Anna’s room I often think about her dolls and how they must miss their mama. Anna took such great care of her babies and as much as I try I don’t play with them nearly as much as she did. I’m sure they are very lonely.

Today I am happy that McKenna got to have a sleepover at Anna’s best friends house. I am picking her up in a few hours and I’m sure there will be lots of stories to tell.

Wet Dog

One of our all time favorite books is Wet Dog by Elise Broach with illustrations by David Catrow, my all time favorite illustrator. I bought the book because David Catrow was the illustrator, I had no idea how much this little book would become a part of our nightly reading routine.

When Anna and I were on our own we would read five books each night before bedtime. Anna would choose four books and Mama would choose one. Wet Dog was always selected, some nights by Anna and if not Anna then always by me. I loved how it flowed and I love how Anna would laugh as I would read, “well, the too-hot dog in the too-hot sun just had to cool off somehow. So he heaved to his feet, and he sniffed the air, and he trotted off down the road…pat-a-pat, pat-a-pat, pat.”

I love this book, it always puts a smile on my face.

When we blended families we blended night time routines and many nights the girls would want Tom to read to them, he does have an English accent which always makes listening to a story delightful.

Wet Dog once again became a favorite as Tom read about this silly dog trying desperately to cool off in the too-hot sun. As Tom started to memorize the words on the pages his English accent always went Southern which made this mama laugh. We all connected with this book and found that it brought so much laughter.

Yesterday I decided to get out the hose for Linus. He was a too-hot dog in the too-hot sun and he just needed to cool off somehow. He loved every minute of it especially when he came in the house and he “shook and he shook with a happy-dog smile, wagging his happy-dog tail…shaky-shake, shaky-shake, shake!”

Love Drenched

No words today just a picture of my family.

Handstand

I was upside down tonight, bear crawling from one end of the high school gym to the other, about to give up when her muscles came to my mind.

My Anna was strong and very athletic. She had muscles that I don’t think I have ever had in my entire life. Before school she liked to go do the monkey bars at the park, 5 times across both ways. She liked to skip bars and do fancy turns in the middle. When she was finished she always did 5 pull ups, perfect pull ups.

I am not going to give up because I want Anna to be proud of me.

I can be strong like Anna, heck we had the same genes.

My goal someday is to do a handstand just like this.

When I do ~ I know my girl will be proud of her mama.

Happiness Journal

I remember when Anna was little I used to day dream about her having siblings, specifically a big brother. I grew up with a big brother who I adored and I secretly wanted that for Anna too.

Four years ago when Tom and I blended our families Anna got just that, her big brother Ben.

I feel so blessed to have Ben in my life and that the girls had him to pester, love, climb all over, be carried by and adore.

Today I am happy to be celebrating Ben and the young man he has become. He has truly been a blessing in my life and I am very proud to be his step-mom!

Happy Birthday Ben!!! I will definitely be drinking a milkshake today in your honor!

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