Parenting with PTSD: Surviving the Intense Waves of Grief ~ A PMB Post

Today over at Portland Moms Blog I shared a few minutes of one of days ~ just one of many I have to live without my girls. This post was very difficult to write but I felt it was important.  With each new day and life experience comes a new wave of grief and at the same time a tremendous amount of gratitude for the ability God has given me to survive the heartache. I miss my girls more and more as each new day passes.

You can find my post here.

My girl in her favorite pink boots!

Anna and her boots

Happiness Journal

Today over at Portland Moms Blog I shared how Alice and I have been spending a lot of our time lately ~ getting messy and making art together.

The fact that Alice loves to create like her sisters makes my heart so happy.

One of these days I will post about our adventures this summer but right now it is bed time and there is no time to write.

love-drenched-life.com

Happiness Journal

Yesterday as I was moving some furniture a photo of Abigail fell off of her “special things” bookshelf. Alice, with sheer delight, ran over and quickly scooped it up as if it were a race to see who could get to it first.

“Abigail,” she said working out the sounds as they rolled out of her little mouth.

“Do you love your sister?”

She nodded her head yes and smiled.

“Where do your sisters live, do you remember?”

She looked at me and then looked up.

“Yes, they live in Heaven with Jesus and they love you so much.”

The connection Alice has with her sisters makes my heart happy.

Today over at Portland Moms Blog I wrote more of how Alice connects with her sisters in Heaven <3.

One Wish-3

Soul Mates

best friends l and a

If you would have asked me this time last year about these two I would have rolled my eyes and asked you if you wanted a dog.

Over the past month something amazing has happened in our house, Alice and Linus have become best friends. Watching this relationship blossom has been so beautiful, especially because I never thought it would happen.

Today over at Portland Moms Blog I share about their relationship and how this little girl has successfully tamed our wild beast.

 

Naptime

alice linus sleepingI had big plans to write a post during naptime today and then I saw the laundry that needed to be folded.

Priorities ❤

Naptime is over and we are now in the midst of family time, Tom just got home. It’s beautiful here in Oregon so I think there is a walk to the park in our future. I can’t wait for the day I say that we will be walking to Anna and Abby’s Yard.

Soon ❤

Today I have a post over at Portland Moms Blog so let us just pretend I wrote that at naptime.

Deal? ❤

I’m not going to lie…

I’m not going to lie, I’m struggling. My heart hurts so bad. I hold on and find joy in my days for Alice and Tom but in the quiet moments, like nap time and in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep, I sit paralyzed with my reality.

I miss Anna and Abigail so much.

No sugar-coating or telling you that time heals ~ my heart hurts the same today as it did on Oct. 21, 2013 when the sun came up and my girls were gone. Actually, I think my heart hurts worse today ~ it’s been so long since I’ve held them.

This is a very long road.

I’m working through it all, taking care of myself and trying to balance my life so that Alice and Tom get the best of me. I won’t lie though, it’s hard, very hard.

I sat down to share that I wrote another post for Portland Moms Blog today. This is what came out instead.

I miss my girls.

summer 2013