Happiness Journal

Last summer we spent a week on Orcas Island camping with the kids. It was an amazing adventure and one I know we will each cherish for the rest of our lives.

Orcas Island

This past weekend Tom and I took Emily and Ben to the coast for a weekend away. Although there is a tremendous void without having our two youngest with us, I could definitely feel their presence.

We climbed hills, walked the beach, threw the tennis ball for Linus, chased Linus around the beach after he found a dead seagull, placed Love Rocks everywhere, learned how to blow glass, talked about favorite past vacation memories and bonded as a family.

I found rest and it felt good.

We found out about this hike from the owner of the coffee shop next to where we were staying. It was such a great hike with a dramatic finish, this incredible hill that sat so high you could see all the way down the beach when you were on top.  It wasn’t easy but we all made it, even Linus.

linus hike

On the way to the top Emily and I reminisced about how Anna and Abigail would have responded to our days hike. Abigail would have run ahead, reaching the top and totally freaking her mother out. Anna would have run ahead and when tired would have come back to let mama know. She probably would have asked a handful of times when we were heading back to the beach to play, they both loved the beach.

I loved talking with Emily about the girls.

After we all came back down the hill Tom and Emily went ahead and I turned back to Ben. Missing the girls I decided we needed to leave a Love Rock there for them so I asked Ben if he would hike back up and place these two Love Rocks for his sisters.

Without hesitation he proudly said yes.

Mountain topEmily and Tom rays

As we made our way back down the trail Emily, Tom and Linus were hiding in the shade of the forest. I couldn’t help but be in awe of how the rays of the sun were being cast down in front of them as if Anna and Abigail were between us. Tom, Linus and Emily at the head; then Anna and Abigail, then Ben and I picking up the tail.

Feeling blessed and happy that the six of us plus one playful dog went for a hike this past weekend at the coast.

Linus tennis ball

Rest

come to me

I am listening.

Taking some time with family this weekend starting today. His promise holds me. Time for rest.

Happiness Journal will be posted on Monday, I’m sure this time with our oldest two, Linus and Tom will bring happiness to my hurting heart.

Busy

Busy ~ that is what I am right now. Filling Love Rock kit orders, working on resources for teachers to incorporate Love Rocks into their classrooms, figuring out the next steps in self-publishing a children’s book about Love Rocks and always working on funding and designing a beautiful park in honor of my girls ~ very busy!

This morning I was looking for something in a set of drawers I usually avoid. They are painful to go through and I know that if I start I won’t be able to stop.

I told myself it would be quick.

10-10-13

1. Everyone has done fun things with their friends. Think about some fun things that you have done with your friends. Tell a story about something fun you did with your friend.

Those were her instructions. Below was crafted a beautiful story, in 1st grade writing, about her best friend and how they love to swing at recess.

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Count and record how many corners and sides each shape has.

I have a feeling she was going to take after her mom with her math skills. We both don’t like numbers very much.

There are stacks of papers from her years at pre-school, kindergarten and her first couple months of 1st grade. These papers, drawings and basically anything she wrote her name on are treasures to me. Treasures that unlock a sadness that I often try to avoid. It’s a sadness that consumes me.

As I stood in front of the dresser the tears started. I miss my girls so much and I want so badly to be prepping them for their first day of 2nd and 7th grade.

Busy ~ I’m busy so that I can manage the pain in my heart.

Anna's work

 

Virtual Glass of Lemonade

No words today just day dreaming about a cool glass of Lemonade made by Lemon Love.

lemon love process

Anna’s dear friend is making 100 original Lemon Love prints to sell online to help raise money for the playground.

As I sat and took these photos my heart was heavy. This little boy spent so many hours with my Anna and I know that his heart is full of love for her and misses her dearly. Each one of these prints is made with so much love.

I know I say this often ~ my girls have the best friends.

If you are interested in ordering a print you can go to our online store ~ Love Drenched Designs.

Happiness Journal

happiness journal tree dog bikeThrough my grief, through the missing and through the longing I do find happiness.

It’s the simplest things, like watching the birds play in Anna and Abby’s tree in the morning while I’m drinking my coffee on the front porch.

It’s feeling a furry Linus curling up at our feet as Tom and I are embracing, comforting each other through this journey.

It’s packaging up Love Rock Kits for people all over the country. Thinking about where the Love and Joy in that box will be placed, who will find it and what it will mean to them.

This life I am living is hard, very hard, but there is joy, happiness, blessings and even laughter. My girls taught me a lot about how to live and they are continuing to teach me, along with so many others, what is really important in this life.

Today I am happy that it’s sunny but not too hot.

I am happy that Linus has taken a break from chewing up shoes.

I am happy that this week we sold over a hundred Love Rock kits. That is 1500 Love Rocks that will be made and distributed all across the county.

I am happy that LOVE ROCKS!!!