I Miss….

I Miss…

~ playing games with the girls at night; Uno, Jungle Speed, Wig Out, 1313 Dead End Drive and our new favorite The Game of Life.

~ snuggling with Anna in the morning.

~ telling the girls to stop fighting.

~ hearing about Abigail’s day at school.

~ playing Cafe with Anna…I would cook dinner and she would belly up to the bar with her babies and pretend she was at a Cafe.

~ Anna asking for a bednight snack.

~ Abigail asking questions about whether 6th grade was a good time to have a boyfriend.

~ laying in Anna’s bed while she brushed her teeth and danced around her room.

~ kissing Abigail goodnight and having her grab and pull me into bed with her.

~ Anna so intently watching Tom shave.

~ telling the girls I don’t have enough energy to play lava monster at 7:30 pm and having Abigail give me a hard time. (I’m not a night person)

~ giving Abigail a hard time at 7:30 am when she was grumpy and didn’t want to dance around with me. (She’s not a morning person)

~ that we understood this about one another but still gave each other a hard time anyway.

~ how my girls made me want to be the best parent I could be.

~ having kids play hide and go seek in our house. Many times trying to find Abigail because she knew all the good hiding spots.

~ having Ozilline knock at the door around 5:30 to ask for a play date and then hearing Taylor Swift blasting from upstairs 5 minutes after her arrival.

~ the girls asking to go get ice cream, over and over and over again.

~ Anna holding my hand.

~ Abigail asking if her hair looked stupid or was sticking up on the sides. It always looked fabulous.

~ dropping Abigail off at school and rolling down the window just as she was 5ft from the car and Anna and I screaming, “I love you Abigail.”

~ the look she gave us when we did that.

~ new artful creations emerging from the studio.

~ hearing Abigail and Tom talking in her bedroom.

~ monkey bars in the morning before school.

~ relentless request for sleep overs with friends.

~ the excitement that filled the house when Emily and Ben were coming for the weekend.

~ seeing Anna at recess and having her kiss and hug me a hundred times.

~ watching Anna ride Tiva.

~ having Abigail show me all her new Tap moves.

~ hanging out at the dance studio watching Anna in her tap class.

~ the smile she gave me when her eyes met and she knew I was watching.

~ listening to Anna care and nurture Baby Mary every single day!

~ hearing the loud music coming from Abigail’s room, even when the door was shut.

~ picking Anna up from her dad and listening to stories about her weekend away.

~ watching Tom dance with my girls.

~ elaborate dance productions in the family room staring my girls.

~ looking through the American Girl Doll catalog with Anna while snuggling up in the big red chair.

~ the excitement of finding Joey Francisco, our elf, each morning in December.

~ thinking about their future.

~ Anna giving me the “I Love You” sign as she drove away with her dad for their weekend together.

~ watching Anna lift Sampson’s back-end up so he could stand up.

~ sitting at the table and eating dinner as a family.

~ asking Anna to stay in her seat while eating dinner as a family.

~ talking/fighting with Abigail to do her reading.

~ being amazed that even when Abigail loved her book she would only read for exactly 30 min.

~ listening to the excitement in Anna’s voice because she was finally learning how to read.

~ listening to Abigail’s plans for her future.

~ listening to Anna’s plans for the future.

~ planning birthday parties with lots of surprises.

~ hugging Abigail and having her squeeze me really tight.

~ hearing Anna shout from the shower, “Mama where are you?”

~ hearing “Mama.”

~ planning family adventures.

~ finding our journal under my pillow and reading Abigail’s latest entry.

~ writing an entry back and telling her how proud I am of her.

~ talking about and then writing down 3 things that made Anna happy each day before she went to bed. Looking at her drawings of those 3 things the next morning.

~ watching Wonder Kratts and Curious George before school with Anna.

~ movie nights snuggled on the couch.

~ asking the girls to pick up their shoes.

~ paying out allowance.

~ listening to the girls plan for their allowance.

~ laughter.

~ watching Anna continuously move throughout the house every single night.

~ Abigail’s sweet singing voice.

~ Anna singing “We are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” by Taylor Swift at the top of her lungs.

~ finding love notes on my night stand.

~ my girls, I REALLY miss my girls.

This list can go on and on.

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Ache

Thank you for praying for our friends. Kaden is still in surgery and I will post tomorrow on how he is doing.

Right now I have such an ache in my heart. Spent a little time today Christmas shopping and quickly found that is not where I need to be. I miss my girls so much! No more words other than that.

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The Power of Prayer

Today, right now, a friend of ours son is going into surgery. He has MD and is having very serious spine surgery. The past month and half we have felt, really felt, the power of all the prayers from people all over the world. If you are reading this please take a moment and pray for Kaden and his family. The power of prayer is real and this family needs prayer.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ JesusPhilippians 4:6-7

 

 

Anna and Rowan

Yesterday while I was going through wedding photos I found this picture.

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I couldn’t help but remember a conversation that Anna and I had not long ago about the hyphen in our names. She asked why some people have just one name and we have two. I explained to her that both her dad and I felt it was important that she had both of our names and, when I got married to Tom, I felt it was important to stay connected to her – so I kept my maiden name and then hyphenated it with Tom’s last name. Hence we both are Dieter-Something. Anna totally understood all of this but looked at me with this funny grin. She then said very directly, “I won’t stay hyphenated forever Mama, because when I marry Rowan I’ll be Anna Toomey.”

The night Anna was born Rowan was in the hospital awaiting her arrival, he was seven months old. Anna would declare often that she knew Rowan the longest out of all her friends. She was very proud of this fact. She loved Rowan so much and I am so happy she had this lifelong friendship with him. They were so funny together, laughing and sometimes fighting like an old married couple. They knew each other, really knew each other, which came out often in the way they played. Asking for a play date with Rowan was a daily occurrence, they would disappear upstairs and enter a world of make believe like no other. Critters, grocery store, vet clinic, house, babies, spies and, my all time favorite (even though it was a bit disconcerting) – teenagers.  One time on a bike ride they asked if I would ride behind them, way behind them. I asked why and they told me they were playing teenagers without any parents around. I smiled then and I’m smiling now. They were so funny.

These two had a plan for their future. They were going to get married, live on a farm and have 16 head of cattle. Rowan was going to be an architect and they would have 2 kids, a girl and a boy named Joey. Anna wanted to have one child herself and adopt the other. Rowan thought maybe the farm would be in Seattle but he wasn’t sure if Anna would like it there.

Their friendship was solid and I know that no matter what came their way, other friendships and new schools, they would always make their way back to one another. I know a lot of people pray for Tom and I to have peace with the loss of our girls. I pray for Rowan and all of my girl’s friends’. Their little hearts are broken without my girls around and I pray that God will give them peace knowing that they have two angels that will be forever watching out for them.

I am so thankful for this little boy who loved my daughter with all his heart. I know that she loved him too. This is so evident by the number of times I have found his name written on random pieces a paper around her room. It was one of the first names she could write all by herself.

Who knows what would have happened in the future for Anna and Rowan. I would like to think that one day I would be putting together the best slideshow ever for their rehearsal dinner.

This is where it would start…

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Blessed

Last night I was backstage during another amazing performance of Annie. This perspective is a lot different from sitting in the house and watching the show; it was so much fun. I loved the energy of the actors and crew and how they gracefully “danced”, in the dark, to execute another spot on performance. I love this cast and crew and once again can’t thank them enough for their love and support. We will miss them this week as we are finished with nightly rehearsals.

Being backstage brought up some emotions for me that I hadn’t experienced while watching the play. Listening to Tom sing “Tomorrow” as I stood just off stage brought a stream of tears and an overwhelming sense of gratitude for a man who has brought so much love and joy into my life. I am so incredibly proud of his performance each night in honor of our girls. I know that at times it is very hard for him to go out and be a cheery servant of Warbucks – but he does and I know his girls are proud!

When I met Tom it didn’t take me long to realize that he was someone truly special and it had nothing to do with the fact he had an English accent. I had been waiting for him, this man who would love me unconditionally and would love Anna as his own. Our lives were running parallel and then finally crossed. I am so blessed to have him in my life and I thank God everyday for bringing him to me.

Tom is one of those dads that enjoys his kids to the fullest. He plays with them and cherishes every moment he has. I could see this when I met him and it never wavered and still doesn’t with our oldest, Ben and Emily, who live most of the time in Medford. He misses his kids, all of them, so much; we both do.

I thank God for this man who stands by me and I know will continue to do so forever. He loves the Lord and is committed to his will. He is such a good man and amazing dad. I am so blessed to have him as my partner in life and our kids are blessed to have him as their dad.

Our journey is a hard one right now but we will do this together. Our girls are together and so are we.

June 26, 2011

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Sunday Reading

Another wonderful show last night at Theater in the Grove. The girls would be so proud of their dad/Tom, I sure am. One of the orphans, Molly, told me last night that she didn’t know Abigail and Anna very well but she really wanted to get to know me. During the play she snuggles up with Anna’s teddy bear and it makes me smile. She is so sweet and doesn’t let me walk by without given me a giant hug. How does she know that hugs are one of the many things I miss about my girls? I feel blessed by this little girl that has such a big heart and she’s an amazing actor to boot.

Another find of my girl doing what she does best…being absolutely adorable reading the bible.

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