Last night I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. I miss my girls.
I decided, after an hour of prayer, what I needed was something to hold on to. I reached under my pillow and pulled out Honey, Anna’s favorite blanket. I wrapped my arms around it tightly and held it to my face.
I fell back to sleep.
This morning Alice was playing as I was getting ready for our day. I could hear her talking with her sister’s babies. She is such a good little Aunt. I walked quietly into her room not to disturb her world and found her wrapping Baby Mary in Honey, just like Anna used to do.
She looked up and smiled.
Alice holding her big sister’s blanket ~ that is what makes my heart happy today!
It’s been raining and the sun has been peeking through the clouds today, a perfect recipe for a rainbow on Anna and Abby’s 4th Heaven Day. We headed out on a walk mid-morning in hopes to see their artistic work fill the sky. I prayed for God to release His glory as a sign for my broken heart.
I prayed and prayed.
Then He answered.
Our rainbow today isn’t the traditional arc of colors that fill the sky, but rather the arc of love that has been cast on us from all of you, our community both near and far.
For the past 4 years you have showed up, unconditionally, and honored our girls by choosing to love. You have walked through the shadows with us, held us and cared for our girls by speaking their names, sharing their love and celebrating their joy.
Thank you for remembering, for honoring Anna and Abby and for filling our hearts with warmth and love.
Thank you for being our rainbow.
PS. This happened this afternoon in Forest Grove ❤
The leaves on Anna and Abby’s Tree are still pretty green. In the next couple of weeks, maybe even days, they will turn beautiful shades of red, orange and yellow.
Then they will fall.
They will all fall and another year will start.
Fall is a mix of emotions because there are so many reminders of the exact moment my heart was broken and it is filled with so many beautiful memories of our favorite season together. Each morning when I open the curtains, and I see the leaves changing, I can either focus on that one moment or I can choose to focus on the millions of other moments that fill my heart with love and joy.
Some days, it’s hard not to be consumed by the brokenness I feel and fight everyday.
Most days, I choose the path that brings light to my memories and my girls.
Today, we decided to celebrate so we went out hunting for special leaves to add to our collection.
I think these leaves were sent from Heaven and Alice agrees.